ELECTION 2016 PREDICTION: WHO IS THE BIGGEST LOSER?

THIS ELECTION: EVERYONE LOSES

Leaders for Sale!!! Big Sale, June 6!!! Both government and opposition!!!
TAX FREE!!! FULL CONCESSIONS!!!
Free canot and coconuts with every purchase in the World Heritage Site
(while supplies last)

Newsflash: The biggest section of voters this election is not Labour or Flambeau. It’s people who are not voting. They hate Labour and Flambeau more than they love democracy. How the hell did that happen? Didn’t we get rid of all this apathy and antipathy back in 1997?

We didn’t? 

No, you’re right. I remember now. We gave up on Kenny Anthony back in 2006. We only brought him back because the UWP, post-Compton, is less than worthless. They’re bloody dangerous. To themselves and everyone around. It’s not that we like Kenny. Most Lucians are revolted by his actions, his intellect and his abs. Flambeau just didn't give us a choice.

What do you want?
MORE LIES & BROKEN PROMISES!!!
When do you want them?
NOW!!!

There’s still time for the major parties to earn our votes. There’s still time to stop selling beaches, start doing math, de-schedule marijuana and jump start a real food based agriculture. There’s still time to clean up the country’s investment program and put St Lucia on track to become the nation that Sir Arthur Lewis wrote about in his economic theses. You know, the ones that won the Nobel Prize and made billions upon untold billions for Singapore?

We still have time.

What we don’t have is faith and trust. We don’t have faith that either Labour or Flambeau knows how to do the right thing anymore. We don’t even know if they remember what the right thing is. We can’t trust them to keep their word. Kenny has broken his word so many times on so many critical issues. And Allen – his word never was worth anything. Never. Not once. Ever.

Read...my...lips...NO! NEW! TAXES!
Let's make St Lucia GRATE AGAIN!!!
CHANGE is coming!!!
And other political slogans I stole because I never had an original thought in my life....

In some constituencies, you have a choice. There’s LPM, Jeannine Compton, Kingsley Charlemagne God-Bless-Him and of course, the Green Party – a bunch of smokers who make more sense in a minute than Labour and Flambeau have made for the last 20 years combined.

In most, you don’t.

You’re going to choose Labour, Flambeau or no vote at all. If you choose Labour, you get more of the same. Most of us are already sure we don’t want that. If you choose Flambeau, you’re just punishing Labour. Come on. Admit it. You don’t think Flambeau is any better than in 2011 when we voted them out. So…

My condolences to you, St Lucian, because the truth is, no matter how this election turns out, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST LOSER.

I don't even know which one is Labour and which one is Flambeau anymore...

There is nothing to do but lose. 

Neither major party has a real plan for fixing the economy. Neither has any concern for food security. It’s imaginary to them. They don’t understand that a St Lucian manufacturing base is built mostly on a local agricultural base. They don’t understand that a sustainable services industry grows from that manufacturing base. They can’t see that to be the Caribbean’s little Taiwan, you have to start with farmers.

And in spite of glaring signs from The Lord Almighty Himself, they refuse to legalize ganja at a competitive speed and put us in front of the emerging 21^st century legal ganja economy.

In spite of the failure of one hotel after another, they continue to build one hotel after another, each new investor shadier than the last, each new hotel devastating another national natural treasure.

What…the…FIP (financial investment program)…are they thinking?

 #WASTETHEVOTE2016

Want to hear a story? It's not really a story but...

Once upon a time, a now, now time ago, there is a girl named Helen and she is you. Your mother. Your sister. Your daughter. But mostly, she's you.

You.

Labour and Flambeau are two men who want your vagina. Each one says he’s better than the other. Each one makes more and more ridiculous promises. But once you choose one, he starts beating you, stealing your money, pimping you out to millionaires and billionaires and paying you like a hotel worker while he pockets the big money.

So, five years later, you leave him and run into the arms of the other. 

Guess what? 

Your new boyfriend is pimping you out to the same big boys. You’re still getting abused. Still getting robbed. Still getting pimped out like the helpless jamet they tell you that you are.

So…you go back to the first one…jackass…your stepfather’s shaking his head (Britain)…your real father shaking his head (France)…your sisters don’t even want to watch you in your eye (Martinique, Barbados)…your mother, that woman is such a mess, she's still taking licks  from your father and stepfather (Africa). But it's like you're not learning. Your whole family is not learning.

So many hundred years of abuse and y'all still there taking kicks in y'all head?

When is that girl Helen going to stop letting these politicians prostitute her? When is she going to exercise some goddamned self-respect?

I’ll tell you when the abuse will stop.

When Lucians realize that they don’t have to make a choice between Labour and Flambeau. You don’t have to pick to lesser of two evils. In fact, you have a moral obligation to stay the hell away from evil whenever you cannot send it directly to hell. But you still don't get it. You feel compelled to do the same shate again and again. You call it responsible behaviour.

Just like that girl Helen, stuck between two abusive boyfriends.

“But what to do?” she cries to the counselors. “Whichever one I choose the same thing happens.”

So, don’t choose either one.

“But how will I survive? How will I live without one of them to help me and support me and guide me and give me Ti Kaka Dans?”

Supporters for LIFE!!!
De Party take good care of we...belch!

And the counselor tries to explain that these men don’t support her, she supports them. They live on her account. They only ever spend HER money. If she left them, she would have tons more money. Hundreds of millions more.

But she’s convinced. Without these men who beat her and prostitute her, she’s nothing. In her mind, she HAS to choose the lesser of two evils.

This kind of thinking passes as morality in a democracy.

But as educated Neg Marron, you and I know that this is complete bullshit.

Whether the cap is red or the piss is yellow, the bullshit is still brown.

            THE IMMORALITY OF CHOOSING LESSER EVILS

We didn't have to choose between the British and the French. We didn't have to choose anything that has to do with continuing slavery or even servitude. We could just take our black behinds to the allegorical bush and make our complots until we are ready to return and sack the damned plantations. And make no mistake, dear Labour and Flambeau, the day will soon come when the growing majority will sack you and your 21st century plantations. You better call Ralph Abercrombie if you want to survive.

Are you frightened or excited by what I just said? Cos if you’re frightened, you might need to rethink your progressive Christian values.

If slaves didn’t disobey, if they didn’t break the law, if they didn’t commit atrocities, you and I might still be in chains today. I don’t like atrocity. It has a violent momentum. It never stops at the atrocity. The holocaust becomes the Palestinian occupation. . Communist purges bound people with fear in a system that, according to its designers, could only work in a Tolstoyan environment of selflessness and personal commitment to the greater good. Slavery becomes capitalism becomes economic cannibalism.Christian conservatism becomes a homophobic Inquisition.

Not voting is a kind of atrocity.

Imagine democracy as an ice cream that has been magically filled with all the nutrients you need and you knocked the ice cream out of their hand instead of saying, “Thanks.” That's what not voting us. Egregious. My kids might get licks for that. It would certainly merit some kind of punishment.

Australia, as a nation, agrees. Down there, everybody votes. It’s against the law not to do your duty for your country. It’s against good reasoning to have a law saying you can’t betray your country, without having a law that says, you MUST vote. Not should. MUST. Not voting is so passive, it seems harmless. But not voting thwarts democracy. Those who don’t vote leave us with governments who are NOT representative of ALL the people. And THAT, we can all agree, is an atrocity.

It’s a goddamned abomination.

Yet, somehow, that is all we ever had. Democracy has never been perfect. It couldn’t be. People are not perfect. People are docile. Corrupt. Wicked. Selfish. Dishonest. Democracy can’t help but reflect that…and so much more accurately than communism, socialism or the fascism and totalitarianism that often dresses up like communism and socialism.

Some people say that voting third party, like LPM, the Greens, Jeannine, is like throwing your vote away. I agree. If you vote with them you are wasting that vote, not just in this moment, but for years to come. If the young revolutionaries and progressives of this generation grow up to be fat assholes like their parents, it will be generations before that 2016 LPM/Green vote is worth something. It could be forever. Those guys are not going to win. Not this time.

Well, you can't say I ever lied to you or made a promise I didn't fulfill...

But it’s still better than voting for Labour and Flambeau.

At least these parties and independent candidates have never done you any wrong. They never beat you. They never pimped you out. They never stole your stuff. They never lied or even broke a promise to you. They are like that nerd the girls always have in the friend zone, a true friend for life who will wait forever to get a piece of that.

Labour and Flambeau are like two men, each one is saying he is better than the other, but when you go with him, he takes your money, beats you stupid and sends to you running for the other one. Repeat cycle. Ad nauseum.

I said that already? I’ll say it again. I’ll say it until they stop raping our country. They don’t scare me. We're already raped. I'll say it different ways.

Labour and Flambeau are like a unhappy wife and a jealous jabal. Both of them say they love you more, but both of them just blow your money away on useless vanity. Both of them are in love with ANY AND ALL Eastern European billionaires who fly in here on a rented plane as though he owns a jet.

Labour and Flambeau are an obeah man and a Satanist both trying to convince you that they are Christian clergy. Labour and Flambeau are a banker and an insurance salesman both trying to get you to buy things you don't need. Labour and Flambeau are two lawyers, each one swindling you by telling you the other one is swindling you.

Labour and Flambeau are...you get the picture.

...COS STONE COLD SAYS SO...

I am about to advocate the most irresponsible and unethical thing I ever have.

For the first time in my life, I am an active non-voter. And I am encouraging any and every one to join a movement that requires you to do nothing. Nothing at all. Except let the two major parties in St Lucia know how much we hate them and what they have done to St Lucia.

Right now, I am for ALL third parties. (Thanks for not running, Richard Frederick. I couldn’t have made that statement without you.) But because I don't have an independent or third party candidate, I am for not voting, 

If you think there is something wrong with not voting and something immoral about promoting it, you’re damned right.

Yet, if you and I were under the whip on a plantation in the 1700s, I would aim to recruit you to help me burn the master’s house down, slit his nose, ears and throat and stuff his rapist testicles up his rectum.

Artist's rendition of MASSA as he prepares to rape...or eat his ears and nose...
Whichever you choose...it's up to you...

I would do that for you.

It’s not the person I was raised to be, but it’s the kind of person I chose to be.

I want to vote for a third party, but in the constituency where I live, I don’t have that option. My only moral choice this year is to join the tens of thousands of Lucians who are simply walking off the damned plantation. I think that the future is made of people who made a thoughtful choice not to give Labour and Flambeau their vote.

And why would they?

All Labour and Flambeau are offering us escalating empty promises which only cover their bad intentions. They tell us we are going to get good government and all we get is one communications minister after another blowing hundreds of millions away on nothing in particular. And each one is worse than the one before him.

What the hell is that about?

Are they learning from each other?

THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL

They are literally laughing AT us

Still not buying the need not to vote, Mr Peterkin?

Then think about this, Mrs Hippolyte:

Each successive government since the 1979-81 implosion has been progressively worse. Compton, who was a kind of economic revolutionary before 1979, stood still and watched the clock run out on the banana industry protections after 1981. Kenny rode in on a high horse of promises, most of which never came true. His first two terms in office succeeded in convincing St Lucians that no matter how bad Compton was, they preferred him to Kenny’s expensive and disappointing failure to put us on top of the 21^st century.

Of course, Compton went and died, leaving us with a bunch of criminals in government who barely managed to not to eat each other alive in office. Their one term in office persuaded that Lucians that no matter how much they hated Kenny’s empty promises and consistent, costly failure, it was better Kenny than the criminals. Thanks Compy. Way to ruin your own legacy.

Andre De Caires -THE NEW ECONOMIC REVOLUTIONARY
Cos whether you like it or not, GANJA IS THE NEW BANANA!!!!

Kenny promised that the criminals would go to jail, but when he got back in office in 2011, he did everything necessary to ensure that the criminals would remain in charge of Flambeau and be available to stand for election in 2016.

Thanks, Obama. I mean, Kenny.

With both major parties now populated by rejects and their lackeys, an increasing majority of us in the active voting population are faced with a quandary. We don’t know which major party is worse. This election is mainly about convincing us who is worse. It's a hard sell. Both major parties are struggling because they are maji and everyone, including their most hardcore supporters know it. 

Which is worse? Labour or Flambeau...?

Answer: Whichever one forms the next government.

That's just the fact established by the last 35-40 years of history.

And they said I was the bad guy.

But like the biggest party of voters on the island, I don’t want to be persuaded. Not by the two parties who have spent the last three and a half decades destroying the future of Fair Helen.

No matter who wins the election, they can consider me their opposition from this moment forth.

I want them to look at the results of the election, look at the historically low turn out, look at the opposition’s numbers and know that even when they add their numbers to their rivals, party people are going to be the minority on this island.

The rest of us are sick and tired of your expensive, mindless bullshit.

This rest of us don’t care with your worn out ideologies or your empty promises. We don't care who the leaders are and we don't need to like them either. We just want something that works. Because for us, The Struggle always continues. And Labour and Flambeau have spent the last few decades making that Struggle harder.

You can't make us choose. You bastards. You can't make us do anything. We're the boss and you're the well paid servant. You have to do what we say. You have to shut up and listen. You have to execute OUR agenda.

You have to earn our votes. 

Maybe, next time...after you get rid of that crop of useless leaders corrupting this democracy.

But this time? Neither Labour or Flambeau have done anything to deserve it. They didn't earn it. They can't have it. 

Put that in democracy's crack pipe, you pathetic partisan zombies.