Just poetry? Just
poetry? In your ass, I go show you just poetry – Jason Sifflet, poet/playwright/non-partisan independent blogger/Certified
Real Life JOURNALIST!
Real journalists don't work for political parties.
(Picture here: Jason Sifflet feeling sorry for Shelton Daniel)
Recently
Shelton Daniel recently wrote off The FLOGG Blog as something not to be taken
seriously.
Ok. I can
see with that. I don’t take myself too seriously, and when other people do it,
it kind of annoys me. So, yeah, the
FLOGG Blog shouldn’t be taken too seriously. It’s not like we’re starting a
mental revolution to overthrow Lab-FLAM in their sleep? It’s just a funny
little blog that tells the truth in ways that no one else has dared to.
However, the
brave Mr Daniel went on to make the single most offensive remark that anyone in
the whole of St Lucia made for the ENTIRE 21st CENTURY.
Mr Daniel, a
literate man who can identify the use of many devices in the FLOGG that others
may not, noted that the FLOGG is not purely journalistic but veers into a kind
of artistic, literary, prosaic zone where the rules of journalism are not the
highest law of the land.
True. The
laws of FLOGG subscribe to a much higher standard of truth and literary
expression than puny commercially corrupt journalism. So what’s the problem,
Bro?
Shelton
Daniel said the FLOGG was “just poetry.”
As though
the lyrics on The FLOGG are not a million times more true to truth and fact
than anything he has ever done for a living.
So now, you
don’t have to take The FLOGG as seriously as his brand of objective enlightened
party hack journalism, because it’s ‘just poetry.’
Ha!
On one hand,
I’m flattered. He compared the bombs I make from other people’s boolettes to
POETRY. Wow. Thanks Shelton. That was almost as good as the time on Facebook
when Jadia JnPierre agreed that “Jason Sifflet is an asshole but he’s our
asshole,” was “the most accurate statement made in the history of the internet.”
Or S.L.A.P. Same difference.
Almost as
good as the time Rohan Roaks said, “Jason Sifflet is the 21st
century Rick Wayne.”
I warning y'all now! I eh doing no gay porn!
Thanks Shelton.
Great back handed compliment.
ON THE OTHER
HAND…also called THIS MEANS WAR!
Where were
we? Oh. Thanks Shelton.
But on the
other hand…
What?!? He said
what?!? No, he didn’t! Hold on. Imma get ma muh’fugg’n piece cos, like, this
mofo just called my mama a ’ho in front of the preacher.
And so, now,
I have to pop a couple caps of so-called just poetry in his ass. Lock and load?
Ha! Safety off, one in the chamber. Let’s go, bitch. Imma bust yo face up with
some diet prose, cos I don’t think you can handle a poem. Talking about my
mother like that…
Let’s spit
some factual realism so that you learn not to talk about my mama like that.
First off,
The FLOGG Blog wishes in its wildest dreams that it was “just poetry.” When the
FLOGG Blog gets down in its knees and prays to God, it prays that if it dies
before it wakes, it will wake up in heaven as a Kendal Hippolyte note pad full of
first drafts, sketches and nasty edits.
Yeah, that’s
right. Poetry is so great the FLOGG doesn’t just want to be poetry when it
grows up out of its terrible twos. No, sir. Poetry is bigger than that. Poetry
is like Jesus but in word instead of flesh. The FLOGG Blog wants to be like
poetry before it dies so it can achieve Nirvana or whatever. The FLOGG Blog
wishes that all of us, including philistines like Shelton Daniel, who deny the
truth professionally and call it journalism, would be washed, baptized, renewed
every day in poetry. To be cleansed. To aspire to the kind of truth that only
poetry can express.
Poetry, along
with fire, wine, ganja, cheese, music and comic books were among the things
stolen by Prometheus from the cruel Olympians to civilize man. That’s a fact.
Poetry is
what angels are made of. (Well, it’s the main ingredient anyway. You need some
fire and some music, but for the most part, angels aren’t born, they are
written and recited.)
Poetry is
the only human language God, Himself, speaks. Indisputable fact. God is so
cool, he only speaks in verse.
And
seriously, poetry is just better looking than any other form of literature.
SO WTF, DREAD?!?
YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR MY MOTHER?
So what the
fuck is Shelton talking about ‘just poetry’?
“Just poetry”
is the reason why St Lucia has a Nobel Prize in Literature and Barbadians have
a Pulitzer. “Just poetry” is the reason why St Lucia has any positive
international stature, apart from being the place where Oprah will hold the
best wedding that’s never going to happen. ‘Just poetry’ doesn’t just give safe
passage to facts over centuries, ‘just poetry’ is, itself, one of the single
most important facts, ever.
‘Just poetry’
is the reason while Shelton’s sister Melania is one million times the writer
that he is even though she has written 1000 times fewer words than he has. There
are children in primary school who can quote Melania Daniel poems. But Shelton?
No one can remember a single line he wrote. Ever. Not even him.
The talented and beautiful (and talented and beautiful)
Melania Daniel
Accidental sister of Shelton
“Just poetry…?”
Stchoopse. Boy, I giving you one FLOGGing for your mother, because I know she
taught you better than that.
NAME ONE (A
Pawol Jettay, Not a Poem)
Name one St
Lucian journalist who has achieved what ‘just poetry’ has achieved.
Name one politician,
lawyer, businessman, scientist who has approached in the international stature,
the immortal glory of what ‘just poetry’ from St Lucia has.
Name one
journalist who has spoken more truth about St Lucia than Derek Walcott. Or
Kendel Hippolyte. Or John Robert Lee. Or McDonald Dixon. Or Jane King. Or
Gandolph St Clair. Or Melchoir Henry. Or Melania. Or even that one hit wonder, Jason
Motherfucking Sifflet.
St Lucian
journalism has not yet begun to imagine the heights of truth and beauty that St
Lucian poetry has achieved on a daily fucking basis for more than half a
century.
The greatest
St Lucian scientific minds today, Edsel Edmunds, Stephen King, Earl Long, the
list goes on….they all know the value of ‘just poetry.’ They all have little
notebooks stashed away. They practice. Some of them even published. Poetry,
like great music, widens the path and sharpens the point.
THE LYRICAL
FACTICITY OF THIS FLOGGeration:
POLITICAL
GATEKEEPING IS NOT JOURNALISM
But what
would Shelton know? He’s just a poor little party hack parading as a
journalist, a great talent whose lack of something led him to waste his life
pon partisan politics. A man who often forgets not to take himself too
seriously, because his career is, in fact, just theater.
(Lol. ‘Just
theater.’ In my world that’s blasphemy. But it’s ok, because actors don’t read
unless there’s a script. Damned divas.)
That’s
right. I just used artistic devices and language to state the core fact of this
matter.
Shelton is
an actor, pretending to be a journalist in a theater he calls news and current
affairs. Fact. And not very good theater either. Fact. Otherwise why would the
only thing anyone remembered from last Monday’s IPI show be that Daniel used
the words ‘just poetry’ as an insult?
Poor little
Shelton exposes himself as the same kind of literary retard as Rick Wayne. This
was not a confirmed fact until last Monday, although it was widely suspected.
Basically
and factually, he’s a man who doesn’t really read poetry. Can’t. Doesn’t have
the capacity. Or the interest. In spite of the fact that his sister is an award
winning poet who helped put Mon Repos on the world literary map.
THE RICK
WAYNE SCHOOL OF (HACK) JOURNALISM
The piteous
thing barely ever qualified as a real journalist except in the Rick Wayne chop
shop (we all did our time, right, Earl?). And yet, Shelton Daniel thinks
himself and his brand of journalism better, higher, truer AND more factual than
the slender shards of poetry that illuminate this blog and slice the heart of the
dark and corrupt little world around it.
The little
couyon could never quite figure out what poetry was for.
Like Rick,
he is stuck in the chop shop of the 20th century, hacking away at
facts, sorting and throwing away that which he doesn’t want and serving up the
rest as news. In the end, he will end up like Wayne, who is now the sidekick of
Timothy Poleon rather than the Batman we once mistook him for. Sigh. Pause for
the memory of a once great king…
For those
who do not clearly understand the literary hierarchy, it is a well-established
fact for millennia that poetry is and always will be the highest form of
writing, an eternal exercise in the enlightenment of individual man and mankind
in general. If literature is a temple, poets are the architects and priests.
And
journalism, let us also be clear, is the lowest most recently isolated literary
exercise, divorced from its roots in music to make it more serious and a whole
lot less fun. A daily artless grind, swimming through filtered facts that may
or may not matter by tomorrow. It’s like porn for people who think self-cenorship
is sexy. Like those Japanese videos with all the good parts redacted.
In its
current form, it does not enrich your life, it increases your frustration and
the likelihood that you are going to need medication for high blood pressure.
You can
train a journalist to be the best, but the same is not true for poets. Being
the best poet is like being the best prophet. God kinda you picks out from
under whatever bush you are hiding. Jesus and Virgil and a set of other dead
rappers keep throwing inspiration at you. Ask Derek. Ask Kendel. Verify the
facts.
Ask VS
Naipaul about how much it frustrates him that his attempts at poetry are
worthless. He knows secretly, deep down in his heart, that his failure at
poetry means that God does not like him very much. He’ll deny God’ existence,
but he won’t deny this fact.
That’s how
high poetry is on the literary, nay, evolutionary ladder. It is a mark who God
favors. David. Solomon. Virgil. Walcott.
Hippolyte. Poets, all. God’s
favorite people. Facts, brother. Facts.
Being a
journalist just means you learned some methodology. Not even that nowadays. CNN
fired their entire investigation department so they could spend more time
talking. That’s a fact. Face palm. But fact.
God picks
poets personally. He trains them Himself, even the goddamned atheists. That is
an undisputable fact.
This never
happens for journalists, because the truth is, God never thinks about
journalists unless they call out to Him. He does not read the paper and he does
not watch the evening news. He has way more important things to do. Which
explains why I get away with everything.
Poets,
meanwhile, have an exalted place in heaven and God, Himself, is constantly forgetting
to do things (consider the state of the world), because He’s too busy doing the
best thing anyone can do with their life….you guessed it….reading poetry. Now
that’s a rumour. But after you hear it so many times from so many people…
And He ain’t
denying it, so…
It is
unfortunate that a good, well-read decent fella from a good Negmarron family
like Shelton Daniel would expose himself as a half-evolved barbaric Philistine.
Sad to hear him attack poetry incidentally just to deny the truth of the FLOGG.
And for what? To save some political party’s un-wiped butt?
But then,
what do you expect from a guy who pretends to be an objective journalist, a
veritable NEWS EDITOR, but can’t bring himself to say one bad thing about Labour
because the party member is so far down his overused oesophagus?
Suffice it
to say that there is more thoroughly researched and verifiable fact in every
line of ‘poetry’ on the FLOGG than there is in an entire year’s worth of
Shelton Daniel’s ‘journalism’. Fact.
Nobody sings
for supper over here. We’d rather suffer
the real truth than live in your world of self-deception.
How’s that
for poetry? How’s that for fact?
P.S. And the
next time you talk about my mama, I won’t be so nice. You can attack The FLOGG.
You can attack me. But the next time you attack poetry, I will go Def Poetry
Gangsta on your ass.
I will write
you a limerick that children will sing on playgrounds for generations.
And a
villanelle that everyone will forget, but you will remember for all time.
I’m done. We
now return you to your regularly scheduled ‘journalism.’
Boom!
ReplyDelete".... would be washed, baptized, renewed every day in poetry. To be cleansed. To aspire to the kind of truth that only poetry can express."
There's some prosody right there!.
Prosody...
DeleteDarnley, you know how long I man looking for that word, dread?
That... was beautiful.
ReplyDelete