Friday, 28 July 2017



When they found out that Sabwicha was one of the best recreational beaches in Saint Lucia, they did the only thing any good government would do.

They sold it out for a pittance.

But not satisfied to be just a good government, they decided to go one step further.

They decided to sell the road. The Choiseul road. The one that connects people to their jobs, their schools, their hospitals and their business partners.

And hear that: The developers did not even want the road. They were willing to own and develop the land on both sides of the road without interfering with people's ordinary lives.

But the government, eager to please the investors, decided it was better to build a new road on an existing country lane at the cost of tens or hundreds of millions, disrupting the lives of thousands of the most self sufficient people in Saint Lucia.


Just what Sir Arthur Lewis ordered.


Whose idea was it to sell the Choiseul road?

'Not me,' said Bradley, current MP for Choiseul. 'The thing was thinged by the time the people thinged Lorne and put me here instead.'

'Not me,' said Lorne. 'Even though it looks I owned it more than the people that owned it by the time it ended up at INVEST Saint Lucia.'

'Not me, said Hilaire. 'I know something about that hotel deal for Sabwicha and I think I want to explain in a language that everybody can easily understand.'

And so, on Sunday, Earnest Hilaire, the former and future next Prime Minister of Saint Lucia will explain, live and in person at Alco's Disco.

And if you know anything about Choiseul discos, you know it is going to be hot.

Thursday, 2 June 2016


"Don't look at me. I am not longer the most spineless man in St Lucia...
Check your big brain shabine..."

And now, presenting the new heavyweight champion of marijuana legalization: Kenny ‘Rosebuds’ Anthony. Smoke them if you got them boyz. Your prime minister finally freed up the economy…I mean, the ganja.
Last night, St Lucia’s most intelligent, most progressive leader announced the legalization of…he didn’t?

He said what?

We’d talk about it? In six months? At a CARICOM level? What does hell does CARICOM have to do with it? We don’t smoke CARICOM weed and we don’t sell CARICOM weed. And they don’t smoke ours. WTF is that jackass doing in the prime minister’s office for three terms?

This guy has more brains in his left buttock than Flambeau has in all their 30,000 heads put together.

Full disclosure: There is not such thing as 30,000 Flambeaus.
I don't care what it looks like.

But his promise to decriminalize ganja is retarded.

Literally retarded.

It wastes time, it squanders our competitive advantages, throws hundreds of millions in potential revenue and tens of millions in taxes down the drain. It is the IMPACS report of socio-economic policy. It’s just another foolish and dangerous delay tactic of the most sheenya popot left wing leader ever – a man who just won’t stand up for what is right. I mean, left. Good. Ykwim.

Please don't ask me about smoking weed at university or my other substance abuses.
My hypocriticus is so full, it's about to burst.

The delay will be devastating to small farmers and will give big companies time to prepare their takeover of what will be the strongest cash crop in the Caribbean, barre none, within the next two decades.

If there is one good thing John Compton taught us, it is that until we’re all millionaires with robot servants, small farmers must own agriculture. Latin America is just the closest example of why we don’t want big companies in our agriculture. And we’re not even going to start on the dangers of genetic modification, which is always where agriculture ends up when big business starts growing crops.

But with what we are learning about campaign finance and how millionaires and billionaires buy candidates and elections legally, it will not be a surprise when Kenny Anthony’s ganja policy turns into a set of all-inclusive corporate farms, another slave plantation. Under those conditions, small farmers will be better off with no legalization at all, because at least they have a livelihood and a shot of escaping the police.

Kenny's last minute promise to talk about freeing up ganja is not a plan. It is not a strategy. It  is drunken cowardice. 

The Diminishing Utility of Big Brained Leaders

How about an emergency law that says we’re no longer locking people up for weed? Then, you can go have your palsied commission. I'd vote for  that.

Just a few days before Kenny made his newest bullshit promise, cops were boasting about marijuana busts – because they have nothing else they can boast about. Government doesn’t equip them to do anything except bust little guys for ganja. America is still tightening the noose of security sanctions around the island’s neck. For something that this government is protecting the last government from.

But now, he’s the progressive ganja hero, right, Calixte?

Drinking that scotch must be making him stupid.

Is that possible? My grandfather drank scotch twice as much as he went to church and he never showed any sign of chronic malignant stupidity.

Maybe it’s not the scotch.

Maybe he’s just too smart for his own good. Like Isaac Newton.

Did you know that Newton deliberately made Principae Mathematica difficult to read on purpose? He wanted to keep the stupid people out of math. Kenny is like a negative-Newton. He makes things more complicated than they are so that people think he’s smarter than he is.

Kenny Anthony is literally letting himself become a de-motivational poster about the damage caused by too much reading. He can’t get anything done without finishing a bottle of scotch with whichever post-grad morons are most in awe of him and then reading a report about it.

As the best symbol of the new Caribbean intellectual leader who overthrew the old obeah men in the 90s and 2000s, he has done so much but damage to the reputation of intellectuals and academics as practical leaders. His sheenya popot ganja policy is just one more example of how bright boys can be worth less than nothing. One more example of why no one will ever impress us with their PhD again. 


PhDees ought to be impressive. 

They are supposed to prove that you are a real original thinker. Many PhDees are. Dame Pearlette’s doctoral thesis can blow the future of education open for St Lucia. But Kenny? He can’t recognize an original idea when it’s giving the Throne Speech right before his eyes for twenty years straight. He has not implemented a single thing it says in his Governor General's doctoral thesis. Probably doesn't even know what it says.

You know what he has sanctioned and implemented with no CARICOM discussion? Alcohol over-consumption during the political season. He'll buy your drinks.



(Say "Bonjour, Mde Marie Jean...")

Marijuana is not just social justice for the dozens, maybe hundreds of offenders languishing in jail for a joint. Marijuana is growth for an island that has had no real growth for two decades. Marijuana is freedom for small farmers.

Let us take a moment to consider the reasons we haven't legalized it yet.

In the old days democratic leaders were afraid of making sense on marijuana because, you know, America. But it has nothing to do with America anymore. They are rolling down the road to legalization faster than we are. We be better off if we asked the US Ambassador for help growing better marijuana instead of help cutting it down. America is now officially better at growing weed than cutting it down. Thumbs up, dudes!

Colorado has proven that full scale legalization is not just safe, it is very, very good for the economy. And the big downside is not more kids smoking weed. It’s not more car accidents. It’s not more raped girls. The downside, for Colorado, is the smell of maka kush growing is just too strong in some poor neighborhoods. 

Rich people, of course, never suffer. They only profit.

Marijuana is smelly. Marijuana is not like cocaine and those hard drugs. Marijuana wants everyone to know it’s there. It doesn’t want to hide. But we won’t have to be growing it in our neighborhoods. So that doesn’t apply to us.

What about CARICOM? If we go it alone and rush ahead, won’t we negatively affect other CARICOM countries?

Lol. In practical terms, lol.

It has nothing to do with CARICOM. We don’t sell weed to CARICOM. That’s Jamaica’s problem. The only CARICOM territory that might taste our ganja is Barbados, a notoriously tight-assed island that seriously needs to chill out and smoke some more Vinci weed.

Our weed is not CARICOM’s problem and it never was. This isn’t cocaine or pharmaceuticals. CARICOM harmony is of no practical consequence in this matter.

We sell weed to France.

In the politics of ganja, we are not Caribbean. We are French. 100% French, 100% of the time. We are their profit, we are their problem, their producers and their power boats. Check the number of Lucians in jail in other regional territories. They’re all in Martinique. For drug related offenses. We are their dealers and jailbirds.

Martinique could have been a window for almost all our agriculture, but we messed up at Independence. We just kept paying tribute to Britain with our bananas until they got sick of us. Ganja growers never gave up the French though. They were the only ones here who realized that Europe was only 14 miles from St Lucia. Columbuses of Lucian agriculture. Pioneers, but pirates, So now, French people think of us as drug dealers instead of business farmers. But, at least we’re in the market. These ‘criminals’ have given us a lead.

Can we get a thank you for the drug dealers?

All the geniuses in government and big business agriculture haven’t figured it out, though. They still think Europe is across the Atlantic.

Geniuses…flat-brained geniuses. The Caribbean is almost done with you.


Almost all of St Lucia’s home grown and transshipment ganja from Vinci heads straight for Martinique. The goods are worth triple what they are here. The market dictates that Lucian farmers, boat men and dealers get paid in Euros instead of EC, whenever they get a chance. That’s just elementary economics. That’s not even full blown capitalism.

But this government, in a fit of fear that they are losing the youth the Greens and the No Voters, promises to do the same thing they did with the IMPACS report.

They are going to tie up the process. They are going to make it unnecessarily complicated so that the outcome is worth almost nothing at all.

In six months, we’re going to have a CARICOM commission, headed by people who haven’t read enough or smoked enough to know what they are talking about. They’re going to talk about the same stuff that little boys on the block who should be at school already know. They are going to spend lots of money to find out what Grass Street, Pancho de Caires and Dr Stephenson King have been telling them for free. For decades.

At best, the final report will recommend that ganja be treated like alcohol and cigarettes. Kids can’t have it. Manufacturers and vendors have to be licensed. And domestic consumption ought to be taxed heavily.

But, given that they are driven by cowardice into making a simple thing like descheduling ganja as frustrating as a regional legislative a cappela group rehearsal, they are a little more likely to do something retarded – like decriminalize small amounts of marijuana, but still sanction the systematic legal oppression of the farmers who are keeping the small island economies afloat.

All while politicians waste our money. Just what we need. More billable time wasting.

“Stop making recommendations!” Lucian Facebook screamed.

“Another damned commission! What the hell does that word even mean anymore?!?”

Now that the world is getting real about weed, speed is of the essence.

When it comes to ganja, the only friends and partners we have in the region are Vinci and Laba. The rest of them are either competitors or Jamaican/South American markets. It will be quite a few years before we can compete with the Jamaicans, in spite of tremendous improvements in ganja quality over the last few decades of, what’s it called, systematic oppression, by both Flambeau and Labour governments.

If anything, we should be rushing ahead of them, shutting them out of our markets while pushing into theirs. That’s called winning.

It is a race to legalize…in case you didn’t realize…

That Kenny Anthony....I don't understand him...
What's his fucking problem?



Wednesday, 1 June 2016



Time for a test.

Where are millions of campaign dollars coming from? Don’t know?

Answer: From regional and international millionaires and billionaires who fully expect your Prime Ministers to dance like puppets to whatever tune they like.

Dance, Kenny, dance. Work that pole for your ex-Soviet billionaires. You sexy little slut, you.

ALLEN...move there! Nobody's talking to you. You cannot dance. No tips for you!
 Time for another test: I accuse both major parties of accepting campaign contributions that would make them ashamed if (and when) the truth outs.

Deny it.

I dare anyone in Labour or Flambeau to deny the accusation. Let’s come clean about election money. Most money used in campaigns in St Lucia would be illegal in a civilized country. Most of it is used to play politicians like little puppets.

And you know what happens when a politician takes money from these people and doesn’t do what they want?

Gryndberg. (In other words, a protracted and astronomically expensive legal battle starring international law firms who charge bazillions of dollars per second.)

Back in the dark days of economic growth and stability, no one asked where election money came from and no one cared. But in 1997, a new enlightened leader came to us from the sky and promised a new, more transparent government where our government would practically be answering questions before we asked them.

Hey Kenny, how about some of that transparency now, huh?

Transparency in campaign finance? I NEVER said it!

I know Flambeau is entirely corrupt and criminal. I believed you when you said it in 2011 and even now I believe you, even though you are blocking their way to prison...WITH YOUR GUTS. 

We know Flambeau is criminal.

But you promised us transparency. I'm calling you out on that promise. Tell us the true story of campaign finance in the St Lucia Labour Party. Tell us where that money comes from. Tell us the truth about how much. The truth about you can't possibly be worse than the truth about Allen and Company. So if you tell, you win. If you don't tell, someone else will...

And scene. Cut to…


Political polling – the dirty little guest house where social science meets political obeah for sex and money.

Which makes Peter Wickham a 21st century scientific obeah man. Not to mention, a very important informant to foreign governments. 

Way to go, Negro…

A poll that Wickham is promoting has thrown him right into the hot end of the fire of election politics, mostly because ruling parties don’t seem to like what he has to say this year.

So all kinds of things are being dug up to discredit Peter Wickham, scientific obeah consultant. He’s a liberal, but he now prefers to work for ruling parties, cos, you know, money. He broke the ethical firewalls when he used his polling operation to promote political views as commentator to the same people he must later poll. In short, he created a monster you can’t find anywhere else in the world – a pollster who is a talk show host and political commentator. Corrupt. He seems affable but he’s really a prick. Worse yet, he’s one of those Romans who is always running off to tell tales to the Sultan’s emissaries and the US Ambassador. Who knows what other foreign government he tells his tales to?

People in the St Lucia Labour Party would never do that.

They would never forsake the principles of social democracy for fast money, would they, Kenny? They would never break ethical firewalls by conflating their professional roles, political roles and media access, would they, Claudius? Even Labour’s worst enemy, Richard “I Didn’t Do It” Frederick, can tell you, while swearing on the Bible, that today’s SLP would never run off to Barbados to tell tales to the US Embassy, in order to tip the political balance in their favor. Never! Right, Richard? Labour’s leaders are soooo much better people than Peter Wickham. There are no pricks in Labour. 

Right, Lorne?

Did I ever tell you that Jason Sifflet is a fagget? With chlamydia!
It's true. All the girls Jason rapes somehow get chlamydia.

Make no mistake. Right now, in the loving family of the St Lucia Labour Party, Peter Wickham is a prick. A monster obeah science prick.

Okay. We’ll get back to Peter Wickham. This is about dark and dirty foreign money in our elections.

Cut to scene three.



How come there are stories of MPees and ministers telling investors to pay local construction workers less money and give them the rest but there are no stories, not even rumors about MPees and ministers telling investors to build football fields and libraries, if they expect to get government’s co-operation?

Is he looking at me while he saying that?
Don't look now, but I think he's looking at me while he's saying that...

How come there are stories of leaders pocketing cash from millionaires in exchange for influence, but there is never a Robin Hood scandal about how the leaders took money from millionaires to do something good for people?

Isn’t that funny?

So many cost overruns, so much bobol…you would think that at least some people projects would get finished.

If you were a minister and an MP, there would be all kinds of rumors about how you made this millionaire and that millionaire cough up the money for free community wifi or hi-tech school improvements or amateur sports leagues.

If I was a minister and/or MP, there would be a huge scandal, twice a year, about how I scammed some dirty investor out of millions of dollars and blew it all away on small farmers without giving him a goddamned thing in return. Rick Wayne and the rest of the media would be making money on me, hand over fist. My reputation would be so bad that European and Chinese mafia would be building sports facilities and community theaters just to get my attention. Instead of bringing bags of cash, they would bring local contractors and materials and a deed for the land for the new essential services college.

In all my time in journalism, I only ever found one story of corruption/mismanagement that served the poor better than it served the rich. Remember the NCA Scandal? Henry Charles did not make off with many millions. For the most part, the evidence says that he broke the rules to give money to the poor. The only people who benefited from his loose manner with the public purse were poor assed people who were really not in a position to do better for themselves.

Oh, garcon, Jason.....You just never going to let them forget that betrayal...?
Apart from that, the story is always about pocketing cash and making the trail disappear.

Now ask yourself this: Where does all the money spent on campaigns come from?

The public purse? Is that what the RDP 1 and 2 scandals were for? Mmmmaybe, some. But when they rip you off on public projects, that’s not for campaign funds. That’s mostly personal wealth accruing to benefit of esoteric coteries, wink, wink, nod, nod.

Where does it come from? Not you. You never made a campaign donation in your life. In fact, they have to ‘donate’ to you. Wink, wink, nod, nod.

It can cost thousands to put up a small community meeting, if you have stage and lights. Factor in the transportation for hundreds of little meetings. Then add in the big rallies that can cost over a hundred grand a piece.Then free T-shirts. Posters. Photo shoots. Sound equipment. Technicians. Social media ballhogs like Dr. Frank Charles, EAE (Equus Asinus Emeritus). Frankenstein Princesses like Jadia JnPierre, Jade Brown and whoever the hell passes as pretty and articulate in Flambeau. Foreign consultants who make Don Cheadle on House of Lies look like an acolyte.

Millions of dollars...just spending, easy matter how bad the economy is.

Who the hell is giving political parties so much money?

Where do the magic millions come from?

The best answer comes not from the political parties who promise us good government and transparency. It comes not from the Integrity Commission, which has no jurisdiction over people who are running for office, only people who are in office.

The best answer comes from Peter Wickham, monster prick, political obeah man.


That time when Kenny was courting Iranian cash
Allen: still trying to make ROC forgive UWP

If Kenny Anthony and Allen Chastanet wanted to take money from Central Asian drug lords to spend on elections, they could. It’s perfectly legal. No politician in the Caribbean ever spent a second thinking about how to make campaign finance clean.

Caribbean politicians always liked it dirty. And Kenny Anthony, apparently, is no exception. 

It explains a lot about why they can’t make sense when they need to. Someone already paid them to make no sense at all.

According to Wikileaks the US Ambassador and Peter Wickham, Labour’s Most Hated:

The amount of money spent on political campaigns in the Caribbean has increased with each election. With no campaign finance laws or disclosure requirements present in most countries, political parties are free to accept funding from any source, including wealthy expatriates seeking to curry favor for their business and personal interests.

The increasing availability of campaign funds to Caribbean political leaders, combined with a lack of legal control over how the money is raised, makes for a troubling situation in a region where many turn a blind eye to corruption.

A few hundred thousand dollars, a pittance to a wealthy businessperson in Barbados or the Cayman Islands, could buy a great deal of influence in one of the small, economically troubled countries in the region.  Some of this influence may be purchased to further legitimate business concerns, but the influence could be used for more nefarious purposes.

Now why, you ask, should be believe a rat like Peter Wickham. Well, has Wickham ever straight up lied to you? Has Kenny? Has Allen? Based on that we’re all leaning Wickham, aren’t we? But I have some gas and a match for this tinder. Peter Wickham ratted out the hated former CLICO big shot Leroy Parris and his political donations and the kinds of favors it bought him. You know Parris is an enemy of the people, right? In that context, it’s harder to imagine Peter Wickham being the bad guy, isn’t it? That’s right. Cos the enemy of Leroy Parris is definitely our friend.
You can beat up on Peter Wickham all you like, but he didn’t lie when he said it’s all dark and dirty money, made clean by the fact that there are zero campaign laws to protect voters from their leaders.

Read more of what Wikileaks says he told US Emboffs:

The most extreme example is American billionaire Allan Stanford, who spent millions to virtually buy Antigua and Barbuda by bankrolling either party and providing funding for Government projects.  Influence does not have to come at such a high price, however, considering the small size of the countries in the region.  A sudden injection of US$350,000 in the last two weeks of St. Vincent’s December 2005 election campaign allowed the ruling Unity Labor Party to sway voters in a handful of hard fought parliamentary races by helping people pay overdue bills, fix leaking roofs, and buy groceries.

More? Ooookay.

Money has changed the manner in which campaigns are run. Campaigns once depended on rousing oratory by stump speakers but now feature expensive rallies with musical acts and other entertainment.  Campaigns also rely on in-kind donations from local supporters or members of the diaspora.  Shipping containers full of hats, T-shirts, posters and other campaign paraphernalia typically arrive from the U.S. as elections approach.  Money also allows parties to fly in supporters from overseas.  The ruling party flew about 400 people to St. Vincent from the U.S. for the recent election. 

Dominica, however, is the major offender with both parties flying in several planeloads of people from the U.S. for its May 2005 election. In poor, economically strapped Dominica, well over US$2 million was spent on the 2005 election campaign, with Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit’s ruling Dominica Labor Party (DLP) having the lion’s share.  Although the opposition charged that China funded the ruling party, most of the money came from wealthy Caribbean expatriates.  The Government did not deny, for example, opposition charges that a non-Dominican living in the Cayman Islands provided the ruling DLP with funds in exchange for a diplomatic passport.  The largest amount of money came from Leroy Parris, Chairman of CLICO Holdings Limited, a Barbados-based insurance and real estate company.  The Government rewarded Parris with a particularly friendly business environment and his company will soon finance construction of a new housing development in Dominica. Parris was also named a “Goodwill Ambassador” who will help attract investment to the country.

Hilarious. Parris  is a one man Lehman Brothers. He helps sink a business, several economies, hundreds of thousands of families and he doesn’t got to jail. He gets a passport that puts him above the law. 

Sweet, sweet Caribbean justice. More of that to come with CCJ.

The Government of Dominica’s interpretation of “Goodwill Ambassador” appears to include real diplomatic status.  In September 2005, the Dominica MFA sent a diplomatic note requesting that it issue a visa in the diplomatic passport of “Ambassador at Large” Parris.  Despite repeated requests for an explanation of the capacity in which Parris, a Barbados citizen, will serve as a Dominica diplomat, the MFA failed to provide an answer. Dominica also continues to have an active economic citizenship program, through which individuals from various countries have previously purchased passports.

Peter Wickham may be a lot of things. But is he a liar when it comes to dark and dirty money in Lucian politics? Aren’t his critics being a bit hypocritical, attacking him without considering his professional record of telling the truth? Can Kenny deny that Labour gets down on its knees with its mouth open for Juffali, et al?

All these people who are acting like Peter Wickham is a rat for tattling to the US Embassy, they all had their turn sitting in that chair opposite the Ambassador. Everyone who matters has to deal with Pilate eventually. And maybe Peter Wickham is a rat for telling the Ambassador bad stuff about people he smiled with. But Peter Wickham didn’t lie.

Peter Wickham told the first awful truth about campaign finance in the Caribbean. It is the wild west out there and anyone who has integrity for sale and a public office can cash in to the tune of millions before one political term is out. We saw in from 2006-11. We can’t expect better from Flambeau. They literally showed us the Taiwanese cheques and then disappeared the money.

Kenny Anthony always promised us a government of transparency.

But now Labour...?

Labour is entertaining the jet set as often as they possibly can. Labour is working that millionaire crowd. They are putting on their thongs every time a private jet lands at Vigie. That’s their entire plan for St Lucia – find investors to save us, cos we can’t save ourselves. Now the difference between Labour and Flambeau is that Allen is looking for investors to buy us cos we won’t sell ourselves.

Is that what the people’s party is about? Is that what George Charles and John Compton fought for us to become?

Yes! Yes! Absolutely! They wanted banana farmers to become apple farmers and register the farms under their sister's name.
What is wrong with that?


Isn't Kenny Anthony such a good and clean guy that the Labour Party could reveal campaign finance details without doing him harm?

We all know that Allen Chastanet is the kind of person who must move to Brazil if, say, Scotland Yard starts to investigate him. We all know that the United Workers Party, post-John Compton, will take money from anywhere and anyone. The only reason these people are not in jail or fighting extradition back to St Lucia is because Kenny Anthony wants them there. They are the only ones he can beat.

But isn't Kenny still the man? Or is he just another one of those people that Wickham squealed on when he told the US Ambassador that a billionaire literally bought an Antiguan government and while that’s an extreme case, that is what is going on all over the region, no exceptions.

What would it do to Kenny Anthony’s reputation and legacy, if campaign finance details of the last 20 years were revealed?

As a matter of fact, why hasn’t Kenny ever talked about cleaning up St Lucian campaign finance, that cesspit of foreign money influence that turns Lucian democracy into an abominable detestable desperate prostitute?

Why hasn’t anyone of the candidates of the major parties ever brought it up? Don’t they know where the money is coming from? Don’t they care?

Can any single candidate assure us that they are not dealing in dirty money from billionaires and millionaires who will want them to sell out St Lucians later? Is there a single candidate brave enough to even broach the issue?

Accepting foreign contributions to a national party is viewed by most reasonable world citizens as an insane act of treason. People find lots of ways around it – have to find some way to dip into those Chinese trillions, right?

But in principle, only nationals should contribute to a national election. Foreigners are not invited. It is unseemly. It looks bad. It looks like selling out your country.

So, Kenny, are you going to tell the truth about election money?

Or is someone going to have to tell the truth for you?

Not me! You better call Peter Wickham!

Monday, 30 May 2016



Leaders for Sale!!! Big Sale, June 6!!! Both government and opposition!!!
Free canot and coconuts with every purchase in the World Heritage Site
(while supplies last)

Newsflash: The biggest section of voters this election is not Labour or Flambeau. It’s people who are not voting. They hate Labour and Flambeau more than they love democracy. How the hell did that happen? Didn’t we get rid of all this apathy and antipathy back in 1997?

We didn’t? 

No, you’re right. I remember now. We gave up on Kenny Anthony back in 2006. We only brought him back because the UWP, post-Compton, is less than worthless. They’re bloody dangerous. To themselves and everyone around. It’s not that we like Kenny. Most Lucians are revolted by his actions, his intellect and his abs. Flambeau just didn't give us a choice.

What do you want?
When do you want them?
There’s still time for the major parties to earn our votes. There’s still time to stop selling beaches, start doing math, de-schedule marijuana and jump start a real food based agriculture. There’s still time to clean up the country’s investment program and put St Lucia on track to become the nation that Sir Arthur Lewis wrote about in his economic theses. You know, the ones that won the Nobel Prize and made billions upon untold billions for Singapore?

We still have time.

What we don’t have is faith and trust. We don’t have faith that either Labour or Flambeau knows how to do the right thing anymore. We don’t even know if they remember what the right thing is. We can’t trust them to keep their word. Kenny has broken his word so many times on so many critical issues. And Allen – his word never was worth anything. Never. Not once. Ever.! NEW! TAXES!
Let's make St Lucia GRATE AGAIN!!!
CHANGE is coming!!!
And other political slogans I stole because I never had an original thought in my life....

In some constituencies, you have a choice. There’s LPM, Jeannine Compton, Kingsley Charlemagne God-Bless-Him and of course, the Green Party – a bunch of smokers who make more sense in a minute than Labour and Flambeau have made for the last 20 years combined.

In most, you don’t.

You’re going to choose Labour, Flambeau or no vote at all. If you choose Labour, you get more of the same. Most of us are already sure we don’t want that. If you choose Flambeau, you’re just punishing Labour. Come on. Admit it. You don’t think Flambeau is any better than in 2011 when we voted them out. So…

My condolences to you, St Lucian, because the truth is, no matter how this election turns out, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST LOSER.

I don't even know which one is Labour and which one is Flambeau anymore...

There is nothing to do but lose. 

Neither major party has a real plan for fixing the economy. Neither has any concern for food security. It’s imaginary to them. They don’t understand that a St Lucian manufacturing base is built mostly on a local agricultural base. They don’t understand that a sustainable services industry grows from that manufacturing base. They can’t see that to be the Caribbean’s little Taiwan, you have to start with farmers.

And in spite of glaring signs from The Lord Almighty Himself, they refuse to legalize ganja at a competitive speed and put us in front of the emerging 21st century legal ganja economy.

In spite of the failure of one hotel after another, they continue to build one hotel after another, each new investor shadier than the last, each new hotel devastating another national natural treasure.

What…the…FIP (financial investment program)…are they thinking?


Want to hear a story? It's not really a story but...

Once upon a time, a now, now time ago, there is a girl named Helen and she is you. Your mother. Your sister. Your daughter. But mostly, she's you.

Labour and Flambeau are two men who want your vagina. Each one says he’s better than the other. Each one makes more and more ridiculous promises. But once you choose one, he starts beating you, stealing your money, pimping you out to millionaires and billionaires and paying you like a hotel worker while he pockets the big money.

So, five years later, you leave him and run into the arms of the other. 

Guess what? 

Your new boyfriend is pimping you out to the same big boys. You’re still getting abused. Still getting robbed. Still getting pimped out like the helpless jamet they tell you that you are.

So…you go back to the first one…jackass…your stepfather’s shaking his head (Britain)…your real father shaking his head (France)…your sisters don’t even want to watch you in your eye (Martinique, Barbados)…your mother, that woman is such a mess, she's still taking licks  from your father and stepfather (Africa). But it's like you're not learning. Your whole family is not learning.

So many hundred years of abuse and y'all still there taking kicks in y'all head?

When is that girl Helen going to stop letting these politicians prostitute her? When is she going to exercise some goddamned self-respect?

I’ll tell you when the abuse will stop.

When Lucians realize that they don’t have to make a choice between Labour and Flambeau. You don’t have to pick to lesser of two evils. In fact, you have a moral obligation to stay the hell away from evil whenever you cannot send it directly to hell. But you still don't get it. You feel compelled to do the same shate again and again. You call it responsible behaviour.

Just like that girl Helen, stuck between two abusive boyfriends.

“But what to do?” she cries to the counselors. “Whichever one I choose the same thing happens.”

So, don’t choose either one.

“But how will I survive? How will I live without one of them to help me and support me and guide me and give me Ti Kaka Dans?”

Supporters for LIFE!!!
De Party take good care of we...belch!

And the counselor tries to explain that these men don’t support her, she supports them. They live on her account. They only ever spend HER money. If she left them, she would have tons more money. Hundreds of millions more.

But she’s convinced. Without these men who beat her and prostitute her, she’s nothing. In her mind, she HAS to choose the lesser of two evils.

This kind of thinking passes as morality in a democracy.

But as educated Neg Marron, you and I know that this is complete bullshit.

Whether the cap is red or the piss is yellow, the bullshit is still brown.


We didn't have to choose between the British and the French. We didn't have to choose anything that has to do with continuing slavery or even servitude. We could just take our black behinds to the allegorical bush and make our complots until we are ready to return and sack the damned plantations. And make no mistake, dear Labour and Flambeau, the day will soon come when the growing majority will sack you and your 21st century plantations. You better call Ralph Abercrombie if you want to survive.

Are you frightened or excited by what I just said? Cos if you’re frightened, you might need to rethink your progressive Christian values.

If slaves didn’t disobey, if they didn’t break the law, if they didn’t commit atrocities, you and I might still be in chains today. I don’t like atrocity. It has a violent momentum. It never stops at the atrocity. The holocaust becomes the Palestinian occupation. . Communist purges bound people with fear in a system that, according to its designers, could only work in a Tolstoyan environment of selflessness and personal commitment to the greater good. Slavery becomes capitalism becomes economic cannibalism.Christian conservatism becomes a homophobic Inquisition.

Not voting is a kind of atrocity.

Imagine democracy as an ice cream that has been magically filled with all the nutrients you need and you knocked the ice cream out of their hand instead of saying, “Thanks.” That's what not voting us. Egregious. My kids might get licks for that. It would certainly merit some kind of punishment.

Australia, as a nation, agrees. Down there, everybody votes. It’s against the law not to do your duty for your country. It’s against good reasoning to have a law saying you can’t betray your country, without having a law that says, you MUST vote. Not should. MUST. Not voting is so passive, it seems harmless. But not voting thwarts democracy. Those who don’t vote leave us with governments who are NOT representative of ALL the people. And THAT, we can all agree, is an atrocity.

It’s a goddamned abomination.

Yet, somehow, that is all we ever had. Democracy has never been perfect. It couldn’t be. People are not perfect. People are docile. Corrupt. Wicked. Selfish. Dishonest. Democracy can’t help but reflect that…and so much more accurately than communism, socialism or the fascism and totalitarianism that often dresses up like communism and socialism.

Some people say that voting third party, like LPM, the Greens, Jeannine, is like throwing your vote away. I agree. If you vote with them you are wasting that vote, not just in this moment, but for years to come. If the young revolutionaries and progressives of this generation grow up to be fat assholes like their parents, it will be generations before that 2016 LPM/Green vote is worth something. It could be forever. Those guys are not going to win. Not this time.

Well, you can't say I ever lied to you or made a promise I didn't fulfill...
But it’s still better than voting for Labour and Flambeau.

At least these parties and independent candidates have never done you any wrong. They never beat you. They never pimped you out. They never stole your stuff. They never lied or even broke a promise to you. They are like that nerd the girls always have in the friend zone, a true friend for life who will wait forever to get a piece of that.

Labour and Flambeau are like two men, each one is saying he is better than the other, but when you go with him, he takes your money, beats you stupid and sends to you running for the other one. Repeat cycle. Ad nauseum.

I said that already? I’ll say it again. I’ll say it until they stop raping our country. They don’t scare me. We're already raped. I'll say it different ways.

Labour and Flambeau are like a unhappy wife and a jealous jabal. Both of them say they love you more, but both of them just blow your money away on useless vanity. Both of them are in love with ANY AND ALL Eastern European billionaires who fly in here on a rented plane as though he owns a jet.

Labour and Flambeau are an obeah man and a Satanist both trying to convince you that they are Christian clergy. Labour and Flambeau are a banker and an insurance salesman both trying to get you to buy things you don't need. Labour and Flambeau are two lawyers, each one swindling you by telling you the other one is swindling you.

Labour and Flambeau get the picture.


I am about to advocate the most irresponsible and unethical thing I ever have.

For the first time in my life, I am an active non-voter. And I am encouraging any and every one to join a movement that requires you to do nothing. Nothing at all. Except let the two major parties in St Lucia know how much we hate them and what they have done to St Lucia.

Right now, I am for ALL third parties. (Thanks for not running, Richard Frederick. I couldn’t have made that statement without you.) But because I don't have an independent or third party candidate, I am for not voting, 

If you think there is something wrong with not voting and something immoral about promoting it, you’re damned right.

Yet, if you and I were under the whip on a plantation in the 1700s, I would aim to recruit you to help me burn the master’s house down, slit his nose, ears and throat and stuff his rapist testicles up his rectum.

Artist's rendition of MASSA as he prepares to rape...or eat his ears and nose...
Whichever you's up to you...
I would do that for you.

It’s not the person I was raised to be, but it’s the kind of person I chose to be.

I want to vote for a third party, but in the constituency where I live, I don’t have that option. My only moral choice this year is to join the tens of thousands of Lucians who are simply walking off the damned plantation. I think that the future is made of people who made a thoughtful choice not to give Labour and Flambeau their vote.

And why would they?

All Labour and Flambeau are offering us escalating empty promises which only cover their bad intentions. They tell us we are going to get good government and all we get is one communications minister after another blowing hundreds of millions away on nothing in particular. And each one is worse than the one before him.

What the hell is that about?

Are they learning from each other?

They are literally laughing AT us

Still not buying the need not to vote, Mr Peterkin?

Then think about this, Mrs Hippolyte:

Each successive government since the 1979-81 implosion has been progressively worse. Compton, who was a kind of economic revolutionary before 1979, stood still and watched the clock run out on the banana industry protections after 1981. Kenny rode in on a high horse of promises, most of which never came true. His first two terms in office succeeded in convincing St Lucians that no matter how bad Compton was, they preferred him to Kenny’s expensive and disappointing failure to put us on top of the 21st century.

Of course, Compton went and died, leaving us with a bunch of criminals in government who barely managed to not to eat each other alive in office. Their one term in office persuaded that Lucians that no matter how much they hated Kenny’s empty promises and consistent, costly failure, it was better Kenny than the criminals. Thanks Compy. Way to ruin your own legacy.

Cos whether you like it or not, GANJA IS THE NEW BANANA!!!!

Kenny promised that the criminals would go to jail, but when he got back in office in 2011, he did everything necessary to ensure that the criminals would remain in charge of Flambeau and be available to stand for election in 2016.

Thanks, Obama. I mean, Kenny.

With both major parties now populated by rejects and their lackeys, an increasing majority of us in the active voting population are faced with a quandary. We don’t know which major party is worse. This election is mainly about convincing us who is worse. It's a hard sell. Both major parties are struggling because they are maji and everyone, including their most hardcore supporters know it. 

Which is worse? Labour or Flambeau...?

Answer: Whichever one forms the next government.

That's just the fact established by the last 35-40 years of history.

And they said I was the bad guy.

But like the biggest party of voters on the island, I don’t want to be persuaded. Not by the two parties who have spent the last three and a half decades destroying the future of Fair Helen.

No matter who wins the election, they can consider me their opposition from this moment forth.

I want them to look at the results of the election, look at the historically low turn out, look at the opposition’s numbers and know that even when they add their numbers to their rivals, party people are going to be the minority on this island.

The rest of us are sick and tired of your expensive, mindless bullshit.

This rest of us don’t care with your worn out ideologies or your empty promises. We don't care who the leaders are and we don't need to like them either. We just want something that works. Because for us, The Struggle always continues. And Labour and Flambeau have spent the last few decades making that Struggle harder.

You can't make us choose. You bastards. You can't make us do anything. We're the boss and you're the well paid servant. You have to do what we say. You have to shut up and listen. You have to execute OUR agenda.

You have to earn our votes. 

Maybe, next time...after you get rid of that crop of useless leaders corrupting this democracy.

But this time? Neither Labour or Flambeau have done anything to deserve it. They didn't earn it. They can't have it. 

Put that in democracy's crack pipe, you pathetic partisan zombies.