Thursday, 2 June 2016


"Don't look at me. I am not longer the most spineless man in St Lucia...
Check your big brain shabine..."

And now, presenting the new heavyweight champion of marijuana legalization: Kenny ‘Rosebuds’ Anthony. Smoke them if you got them boyz. Your prime minister finally freed up the economy…I mean, the ganja.
Last night, St Lucia’s most intelligent, most progressive leader announced the legalization of…he didn’t?

He said what?

We’d talk about it? In six months? At a CARICOM level? What does hell does CARICOM have to do with it? We don’t smoke CARICOM weed and we don’t sell CARICOM weed. And they don’t smoke ours. WTF is that jackass doing in the prime minister’s office for three terms?

This guy has more brains in his left buttock than Flambeau has in all their 30,000 heads put together.

Full disclosure: There is not such thing as 30,000 Flambeaus.
I don't care what it looks like.

But his promise to decriminalize ganja is retarded.

Literally retarded.

It wastes time, it squanders our competitive advantages, throws hundreds of millions in potential revenue and tens of millions in taxes down the drain. It is the IMPACS report of socio-economic policy. It’s just another foolish and dangerous delay tactic of the most sheenya popot left wing leader ever – a man who just won’t stand up for what is right. I mean, left. Good. Ykwim.

Please don't ask me about smoking weed at university or my other substance abuses.
My hypocriticus is so full, it's about to burst.

The delay will be devastating to small farmers and will give big companies time to prepare their takeover of what will be the strongest cash crop in the Caribbean, barre none, within the next two decades.

If there is one good thing John Compton taught us, it is that until we’re all millionaires with robot servants, small farmers must own agriculture. Latin America is just the closest example of why we don’t want big companies in our agriculture. And we’re not even going to start on the dangers of genetic modification, which is always where agriculture ends up when big business starts growing crops.

But with what we are learning about campaign finance and how millionaires and billionaires buy candidates and elections legally, it will not be a surprise when Kenny Anthony’s ganja policy turns into a set of all-inclusive corporate farms, another slave plantation. Under those conditions, small farmers will be better off with no legalization at all, because at least they have a livelihood and a shot of escaping the police.

Kenny's last minute promise to talk about freeing up ganja is not a plan. It is not a strategy. It  is drunken cowardice. 

The Diminishing Utility of Big Brained Leaders

How about an emergency law that says we’re no longer locking people up for weed? Then, you can go have your palsied commission. I'd vote for  that.

Just a few days before Kenny made his newest bullshit promise, cops were boasting about marijuana busts – because they have nothing else they can boast about. Government doesn’t equip them to do anything except bust little guys for ganja. America is still tightening the noose of security sanctions around the island’s neck. For something that this government is protecting the last government from.

But now, he’s the progressive ganja hero, right, Calixte?

Drinking that scotch must be making him stupid.

Is that possible? My grandfather drank scotch twice as much as he went to church and he never showed any sign of chronic malignant stupidity.

Maybe it’s not the scotch.

Maybe he’s just too smart for his own good. Like Isaac Newton.

Did you know that Newton deliberately made Principae Mathematica difficult to read on purpose? He wanted to keep the stupid people out of math. Kenny is like a negative-Newton. He makes things more complicated than they are so that people think he’s smarter than he is.

Kenny Anthony is literally letting himself become a de-motivational poster about the damage caused by too much reading. He can’t get anything done without finishing a bottle of scotch with whichever post-grad morons are most in awe of him and then reading a report about it.

As the best symbol of the new Caribbean intellectual leader who overthrew the old obeah men in the 90s and 2000s, he has done so much but damage to the reputation of intellectuals and academics as practical leaders. His sheenya popot ganja policy is just one more example of how bright boys can be worth less than nothing. One more example of why no one will ever impress us with their PhD again. 


PhDees ought to be impressive. 

They are supposed to prove that you are a real original thinker. Many PhDees are. Dame Pearlette’s doctoral thesis can blow the future of education open for St Lucia. But Kenny? He can’t recognize an original idea when it’s giving the Throne Speech right before his eyes for twenty years straight. He has not implemented a single thing it says in his Governor General's doctoral thesis. Probably doesn't even know what it says.

You know what he has sanctioned and implemented with no CARICOM discussion? Alcohol over-consumption during the political season. He'll buy your drinks.



(Say "Bonjour, Mde Marie Jean...")

Marijuana is not just social justice for the dozens, maybe hundreds of offenders languishing in jail for a joint. Marijuana is growth for an island that has had no real growth for two decades. Marijuana is freedom for small farmers.

Let us take a moment to consider the reasons we haven't legalized it yet.

In the old days democratic leaders were afraid of making sense on marijuana because, you know, America. But it has nothing to do with America anymore. They are rolling down the road to legalization faster than we are. We be better off if we asked the US Ambassador for help growing better marijuana instead of help cutting it down. America is now officially better at growing weed than cutting it down. Thumbs up, dudes!

Colorado has proven that full scale legalization is not just safe, it is very, very good for the economy. And the big downside is not more kids smoking weed. It’s not more car accidents. It’s not more raped girls. The downside, for Colorado, is the smell of maka kush growing is just too strong in some poor neighborhoods. 

Rich people, of course, never suffer. They only profit.

Marijuana is smelly. Marijuana is not like cocaine and those hard drugs. Marijuana wants everyone to know it’s there. It doesn’t want to hide. But we won’t have to be growing it in our neighborhoods. So that doesn’t apply to us.

What about CARICOM? If we go it alone and rush ahead, won’t we negatively affect other CARICOM countries?

Lol. In practical terms, lol.

It has nothing to do with CARICOM. We don’t sell weed to CARICOM. That’s Jamaica’s problem. The only CARICOM territory that might taste our ganja is Barbados, a notoriously tight-assed island that seriously needs to chill out and smoke some more Vinci weed.

Our weed is not CARICOM’s problem and it never was. This isn’t cocaine or pharmaceuticals. CARICOM harmony is of no practical consequence in this matter.

We sell weed to France.

In the politics of ganja, we are not Caribbean. We are French. 100% French, 100% of the time. We are their profit, we are their problem, their producers and their power boats. Check the number of Lucians in jail in other regional territories. They’re all in Martinique. For drug related offenses. We are their dealers and jailbirds.

Martinique could have been a window for almost all our agriculture, but we messed up at Independence. We just kept paying tribute to Britain with our bananas until they got sick of us. Ganja growers never gave up the French though. They were the only ones here who realized that Europe was only 14 miles from St Lucia. Columbuses of Lucian agriculture. Pioneers, but pirates, So now, French people think of us as drug dealers instead of business farmers. But, at least we’re in the market. These ‘criminals’ have given us a lead.

Can we get a thank you for the drug dealers?

All the geniuses in government and big business agriculture haven’t figured it out, though. They still think Europe is across the Atlantic.

Geniuses…flat-brained geniuses. The Caribbean is almost done with you.


Almost all of St Lucia’s home grown and transshipment ganja from Vinci heads straight for Martinique. The goods are worth triple what they are here. The market dictates that Lucian farmers, boat men and dealers get paid in Euros instead of EC, whenever they get a chance. That’s just elementary economics. That’s not even full blown capitalism.

But this government, in a fit of fear that they are losing the youth the Greens and the No Voters, promises to do the same thing they did with the IMPACS report.

They are going to tie up the process. They are going to make it unnecessarily complicated so that the outcome is worth almost nothing at all.

In six months, we’re going to have a CARICOM commission, headed by people who haven’t read enough or smoked enough to know what they are talking about. They’re going to talk about the same stuff that little boys on the block who should be at school already know. They are going to spend lots of money to find out what Grass Street, Pancho de Caires and Dr Stephenson King have been telling them for free. For decades.

At best, the final report will recommend that ganja be treated like alcohol and cigarettes. Kids can’t have it. Manufacturers and vendors have to be licensed. And domestic consumption ought to be taxed heavily.

But, given that they are driven by cowardice into making a simple thing like descheduling ganja as frustrating as a regional legislative a cappela group rehearsal, they are a little more likely to do something retarded – like decriminalize small amounts of marijuana, but still sanction the systematic legal oppression of the farmers who are keeping the small island economies afloat.

All while politicians waste our money. Just what we need. More billable time wasting.

“Stop making recommendations!” Lucian Facebook screamed.

“Another damned commission! What the hell does that word even mean anymore?!?”

Now that the world is getting real about weed, speed is of the essence.

When it comes to ganja, the only friends and partners we have in the region are Vinci and Laba. The rest of them are either competitors or Jamaican/South American markets. It will be quite a few years before we can compete with the Jamaicans, in spite of tremendous improvements in ganja quality over the last few decades of, what’s it called, systematic oppression, by both Flambeau and Labour governments.

If anything, we should be rushing ahead of them, shutting them out of our markets while pushing into theirs. That’s called winning.

It is a race to legalize…in case you didn’t realize…

That Kenny Anthony....I don't understand him...
What's his fucking problem?



Wednesday, 1 June 2016



Time for a test.

Where are millions of campaign dollars coming from? Don’t know?

Answer: From regional and international millionaires and billionaires who fully expect your Prime Ministers to dance like puppets to whatever tune they like.

Dance, Kenny, dance. Work that pole for your ex-Soviet billionaires. You sexy little slut, you.

ALLEN...move there! Nobody's talking to you. You cannot dance. No tips for you!
 Time for another test: I accuse both major parties of accepting campaign contributions that would make them ashamed if (and when) the truth outs.

Deny it.

I dare anyone in Labour or Flambeau to deny the accusation. Let’s come clean about election money. Most money used in campaigns in St Lucia would be illegal in a civilized country. Most of it is used to play politicians like little puppets.

And you know what happens when a politician takes money from these people and doesn’t do what they want?

Gryndberg. (In other words, a protracted and astronomically expensive legal battle starring international law firms who charge bazillions of dollars per second.)

Back in the dark days of economic growth and stability, no one asked where election money came from and no one cared. But in 1997, a new enlightened leader came to us from the sky and promised a new, more transparent government where our government would practically be answering questions before we asked them.

Hey Kenny, how about some of that transparency now, huh?

Transparency in campaign finance? I NEVER said it!

I know Flambeau is entirely corrupt and criminal. I believed you when you said it in 2011 and even now I believe you, even though you are blocking their way to prison...WITH YOUR GUTS. 

We know Flambeau is criminal.

But you promised us transparency. I'm calling you out on that promise. Tell us the true story of campaign finance in the St Lucia Labour Party. Tell us where that money comes from. Tell us the truth about how much. The truth about you can't possibly be worse than the truth about Allen and Company. So if you tell, you win. If you don't tell, someone else will...

And scene. Cut to…


Political polling – the dirty little guest house where social science meets political obeah for sex and money.

Which makes Peter Wickham a 21st century scientific obeah man. Not to mention, a very important informant to foreign governments. 

Way to go, Negro…

A poll that Wickham is promoting has thrown him right into the hot end of the fire of election politics, mostly because ruling parties don’t seem to like what he has to say this year.

So all kinds of things are being dug up to discredit Peter Wickham, scientific obeah consultant. He’s a liberal, but he now prefers to work for ruling parties, cos, you know, money. He broke the ethical firewalls when he used his polling operation to promote political views as commentator to the same people he must later poll. In short, he created a monster you can’t find anywhere else in the world – a pollster who is a talk show host and political commentator. Corrupt. He seems affable but he’s really a prick. Worse yet, he’s one of those Romans who is always running off to tell tales to the Sultan’s emissaries and the US Ambassador. Who knows what other foreign government he tells his tales to?

People in the St Lucia Labour Party would never do that.

They would never forsake the principles of social democracy for fast money, would they, Kenny? They would never break ethical firewalls by conflating their professional roles, political roles and media access, would they, Claudius? Even Labour’s worst enemy, Richard “I Didn’t Do It” Frederick, can tell you, while swearing on the Bible, that today’s SLP would never run off to Barbados to tell tales to the US Embassy, in order to tip the political balance in their favor. Never! Right, Richard? Labour’s leaders are soooo much better people than Peter Wickham. There are no pricks in Labour. 

Right, Lorne?

Did I ever tell you that Jason Sifflet is a fagget? With chlamydia!
It's true. All the girls Jason rapes somehow get chlamydia.

Make no mistake. Right now, in the loving family of the St Lucia Labour Party, Peter Wickham is a prick. A monster obeah science prick.

Okay. We’ll get back to Peter Wickham. This is about dark and dirty foreign money in our elections.

Cut to scene three.



How come there are stories of MPees and ministers telling investors to pay local construction workers less money and give them the rest but there are no stories, not even rumors about MPees and ministers telling investors to build football fields and libraries, if they expect to get government’s co-operation?

Is he looking at me while he saying that?
Don't look now, but I think he's looking at me while he's saying that...

How come there are stories of leaders pocketing cash from millionaires in exchange for influence, but there is never a Robin Hood scandal about how the leaders took money from millionaires to do something good for people?

Isn’t that funny?

So many cost overruns, so much bobol…you would think that at least some people projects would get finished.

If you were a minister and an MP, there would be all kinds of rumors about how you made this millionaire and that millionaire cough up the money for free community wifi or hi-tech school improvements or amateur sports leagues.

If I was a minister and/or MP, there would be a huge scandal, twice a year, about how I scammed some dirty investor out of millions of dollars and blew it all away on small farmers without giving him a goddamned thing in return. Rick Wayne and the rest of the media would be making money on me, hand over fist. My reputation would be so bad that European and Chinese mafia would be building sports facilities and community theaters just to get my attention. Instead of bringing bags of cash, they would bring local contractors and materials and a deed for the land for the new essential services college.

In all my time in journalism, I only ever found one story of corruption/mismanagement that served the poor better than it served the rich. Remember the NCA Scandal? Henry Charles did not make off with many millions. For the most part, the evidence says that he broke the rules to give money to the poor. The only people who benefited from his loose manner with the public purse were poor assed people who were really not in a position to do better for themselves.

Oh, garcon, Jason.....You just never going to let them forget that betrayal...?
Apart from that, the story is always about pocketing cash and making the trail disappear.

Now ask yourself this: Where does all the money spent on campaigns come from?

The public purse? Is that what the RDP 1 and 2 scandals were for? Mmmmaybe, some. But when they rip you off on public projects, that’s not for campaign funds. That’s mostly personal wealth accruing to benefit of esoteric coteries, wink, wink, nod, nod.

Where does it come from? Not you. You never made a campaign donation in your life. In fact, they have to ‘donate’ to you. Wink, wink, nod, nod.

It can cost thousands to put up a small community meeting, if you have stage and lights. Factor in the transportation for hundreds of little meetings. Then add in the big rallies that can cost over a hundred grand a piece.Then free T-shirts. Posters. Photo shoots. Sound equipment. Technicians. Social media ballhogs like Dr. Frank Charles, EAE (Equus Asinus Emeritus). Frankenstein Princesses like Jadia JnPierre, Jade Brown and whoever the hell passes as pretty and articulate in Flambeau. Foreign consultants who make Don Cheadle on House of Lies look like an acolyte.

Millions of dollars...just spending, easy matter how bad the economy is.

Who the hell is giving political parties so much money?

Where do the magic millions come from?

The best answer comes not from the political parties who promise us good government and transparency. It comes not from the Integrity Commission, which has no jurisdiction over people who are running for office, only people who are in office.

The best answer comes from Peter Wickham, monster prick, political obeah man.


That time when Kenny was courting Iranian cash
Allen: still trying to make ROC forgive UWP

If Kenny Anthony and Allen Chastanet wanted to take money from Central Asian drug lords to spend on elections, they could. It’s perfectly legal. No politician in the Caribbean ever spent a second thinking about how to make campaign finance clean.

Caribbean politicians always liked it dirty. And Kenny Anthony, apparently, is no exception. 

It explains a lot about why they can’t make sense when they need to. Someone already paid them to make no sense at all.

According to Wikileaks the US Ambassador and Peter Wickham, Labour’s Most Hated:

The amount of money spent on political campaigns in the Caribbean has increased with each election. With no campaign finance laws or disclosure requirements present in most countries, political parties are free to accept funding from any source, including wealthy expatriates seeking to curry favor for their business and personal interests.

The increasing availability of campaign funds to Caribbean political leaders, combined with a lack of legal control over how the money is raised, makes for a troubling situation in a region where many turn a blind eye to corruption.

A few hundred thousand dollars, a pittance to a wealthy businessperson in Barbados or the Cayman Islands, could buy a great deal of influence in one of the small, economically troubled countries in the region.  Some of this influence may be purchased to further legitimate business concerns, but the influence could be used for more nefarious purposes.

Now why, you ask, should be believe a rat like Peter Wickham. Well, has Wickham ever straight up lied to you? Has Kenny? Has Allen? Based on that we’re all leaning Wickham, aren’t we? But I have some gas and a match for this tinder. Peter Wickham ratted out the hated former CLICO big shot Leroy Parris and his political donations and the kinds of favors it bought him. You know Parris is an enemy of the people, right? In that context, it’s harder to imagine Peter Wickham being the bad guy, isn’t it? That’s right. Cos the enemy of Leroy Parris is definitely our friend.
You can beat up on Peter Wickham all you like, but he didn’t lie when he said it’s all dark and dirty money, made clean by the fact that there are zero campaign laws to protect voters from their leaders.

Read more of what Wikileaks says he told US Emboffs:

The most extreme example is American billionaire Allan Stanford, who spent millions to virtually buy Antigua and Barbuda by bankrolling either party and providing funding for Government projects.  Influence does not have to come at such a high price, however, considering the small size of the countries in the region.  A sudden injection of US$350,000 in the last two weeks of St. Vincent’s December 2005 election campaign allowed the ruling Unity Labor Party to sway voters in a handful of hard fought parliamentary races by helping people pay overdue bills, fix leaking roofs, and buy groceries.

More? Ooookay.

Money has changed the manner in which campaigns are run. Campaigns once depended on rousing oratory by stump speakers but now feature expensive rallies with musical acts and other entertainment.  Campaigns also rely on in-kind donations from local supporters or members of the diaspora.  Shipping containers full of hats, T-shirts, posters and other campaign paraphernalia typically arrive from the U.S. as elections approach.  Money also allows parties to fly in supporters from overseas.  The ruling party flew about 400 people to St. Vincent from the U.S. for the recent election. 

Dominica, however, is the major offender with both parties flying in several planeloads of people from the U.S. for its May 2005 election. In poor, economically strapped Dominica, well over US$2 million was spent on the 2005 election campaign, with Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit’s ruling Dominica Labor Party (DLP) having the lion’s share.  Although the opposition charged that China funded the ruling party, most of the money came from wealthy Caribbean expatriates.  The Government did not deny, for example, opposition charges that a non-Dominican living in the Cayman Islands provided the ruling DLP with funds in exchange for a diplomatic passport.  The largest amount of money came from Leroy Parris, Chairman of CLICO Holdings Limited, a Barbados-based insurance and real estate company.  The Government rewarded Parris with a particularly friendly business environment and his company will soon finance construction of a new housing development in Dominica. Parris was also named a “Goodwill Ambassador” who will help attract investment to the country.

Hilarious. Parris  is a one man Lehman Brothers. He helps sink a business, several economies, hundreds of thousands of families and he doesn’t got to jail. He gets a passport that puts him above the law. 

Sweet, sweet Caribbean justice. More of that to come with CCJ.

The Government of Dominica’s interpretation of “Goodwill Ambassador” appears to include real diplomatic status.  In September 2005, the Dominica MFA sent a diplomatic note requesting that it issue a visa in the diplomatic passport of “Ambassador at Large” Parris.  Despite repeated requests for an explanation of the capacity in which Parris, a Barbados citizen, will serve as a Dominica diplomat, the MFA failed to provide an answer. Dominica also continues to have an active economic citizenship program, through which individuals from various countries have previously purchased passports.

Peter Wickham may be a lot of things. But is he a liar when it comes to dark and dirty money in Lucian politics? Aren’t his critics being a bit hypocritical, attacking him without considering his professional record of telling the truth? Can Kenny deny that Labour gets down on its knees with its mouth open for Juffali, et al?

All these people who are acting like Peter Wickham is a rat for tattling to the US Embassy, they all had their turn sitting in that chair opposite the Ambassador. Everyone who matters has to deal with Pilate eventually. And maybe Peter Wickham is a rat for telling the Ambassador bad stuff about people he smiled with. But Peter Wickham didn’t lie.

Peter Wickham told the first awful truth about campaign finance in the Caribbean. It is the wild west out there and anyone who has integrity for sale and a public office can cash in to the tune of millions before one political term is out. We saw in from 2006-11. We can’t expect better from Flambeau. They literally showed us the Taiwanese cheques and then disappeared the money.

Kenny Anthony always promised us a government of transparency.

But now Labour...?

Labour is entertaining the jet set as often as they possibly can. Labour is working that millionaire crowd. They are putting on their thongs every time a private jet lands at Vigie. That’s their entire plan for St Lucia – find investors to save us, cos we can’t save ourselves. Now the difference between Labour and Flambeau is that Allen is looking for investors to buy us cos we won’t sell ourselves.

Is that what the people’s party is about? Is that what George Charles and John Compton fought for us to become?

Yes! Yes! Absolutely! They wanted banana farmers to become apple farmers and register the farms under their sister's name.
What is wrong with that?


Isn't Kenny Anthony such a good and clean guy that the Labour Party could reveal campaign finance details without doing him harm?

We all know that Allen Chastanet is the kind of person who must move to Brazil if, say, Scotland Yard starts to investigate him. We all know that the United Workers Party, post-John Compton, will take money from anywhere and anyone. The only reason these people are not in jail or fighting extradition back to St Lucia is because Kenny Anthony wants them there. They are the only ones he can beat.

But isn't Kenny still the man? Or is he just another one of those people that Wickham squealed on when he told the US Ambassador that a billionaire literally bought an Antiguan government and while that’s an extreme case, that is what is going on all over the region, no exceptions.

What would it do to Kenny Anthony’s reputation and legacy, if campaign finance details of the last 20 years were revealed?

As a matter of fact, why hasn’t Kenny ever talked about cleaning up St Lucian campaign finance, that cesspit of foreign money influence that turns Lucian democracy into an abominable detestable desperate prostitute?

Why hasn’t anyone of the candidates of the major parties ever brought it up? Don’t they know where the money is coming from? Don’t they care?

Can any single candidate assure us that they are not dealing in dirty money from billionaires and millionaires who will want them to sell out St Lucians later? Is there a single candidate brave enough to even broach the issue?

Accepting foreign contributions to a national party is viewed by most reasonable world citizens as an insane act of treason. People find lots of ways around it – have to find some way to dip into those Chinese trillions, right?

But in principle, only nationals should contribute to a national election. Foreigners are not invited. It is unseemly. It looks bad. It looks like selling out your country.

So, Kenny, are you going to tell the truth about election money?

Or is someone going to have to tell the truth for you?

Not me! You better call Peter Wickham!