Thursday, 2 June 2016


"Don't look at me. I am not longer the most spineless man in St Lucia...
Check your big brain shabine..."

And now, presenting the new heavyweight champion of marijuana legalization: Kenny ‘Rosebuds’ Anthony. Smoke them if you got them boyz. Your prime minister finally freed up the economy…I mean, the ganja.
Last night, St Lucia’s most intelligent, most progressive leader announced the legalization of…he didn’t?

He said what?

We’d talk about it? In six months? At a CARICOM level? What does hell does CARICOM have to do with it? We don’t smoke CARICOM weed and we don’t sell CARICOM weed. And they don’t smoke ours. WTF is that jackass doing in the prime minister’s office for three terms?

This guy has more brains in his left buttock than Flambeau has in all their 30,000 heads put together.

Full disclosure: There is not such thing as 30,000 Flambeaus.
I don't care what it looks like.

But his promise to decriminalize ganja is retarded.

Literally retarded.

It wastes time, it squanders our competitive advantages, throws hundreds of millions in potential revenue and tens of millions in taxes down the drain. It is the IMPACS report of socio-economic policy. It’s just another foolish and dangerous delay tactic of the most sheenya popot left wing leader ever – a man who just won’t stand up for what is right. I mean, left. Good. Ykwim.

Please don't ask me about smoking weed at university or my other substance abuses.
My hypocriticus is so full, it's about to burst.

The delay will be devastating to small farmers and will give big companies time to prepare their takeover of what will be the strongest cash crop in the Caribbean, barre none, within the next two decades.

If there is one good thing John Compton taught us, it is that until we’re all millionaires with robot servants, small farmers must own agriculture. Latin America is just the closest example of why we don’t want big companies in our agriculture. And we’re not even going to start on the dangers of genetic modification, which is always where agriculture ends up when big business starts growing crops.

But with what we are learning about campaign finance and how millionaires and billionaires buy candidates and elections legally, it will not be a surprise when Kenny Anthony’s ganja policy turns into a set of all-inclusive corporate farms, another slave plantation. Under those conditions, small farmers will be better off with no legalization at all, because at least they have a livelihood and a shot of escaping the police.

Kenny's last minute promise to talk about freeing up ganja is not a plan. It is not a strategy. It  is drunken cowardice. 

The Diminishing Utility of Big Brained Leaders

How about an emergency law that says we’re no longer locking people up for weed? Then, you can go have your palsied commission. I'd vote for  that.

Just a few days before Kenny made his newest bullshit promise, cops were boasting about marijuana busts – because they have nothing else they can boast about. Government doesn’t equip them to do anything except bust little guys for ganja. America is still tightening the noose of security sanctions around the island’s neck. For something that this government is protecting the last government from.

But now, he’s the progressive ganja hero, right, Calixte?

Drinking that scotch must be making him stupid.

Is that possible? My grandfather drank scotch twice as much as he went to church and he never showed any sign of chronic malignant stupidity.

Maybe it’s not the scotch.

Maybe he’s just too smart for his own good. Like Isaac Newton.

Did you know that Newton deliberately made Principae Mathematica difficult to read on purpose? He wanted to keep the stupid people out of math. Kenny is like a negative-Newton. He makes things more complicated than they are so that people think he’s smarter than he is.

Kenny Anthony is literally letting himself become a de-motivational poster about the damage caused by too much reading. He can’t get anything done without finishing a bottle of scotch with whichever post-grad morons are most in awe of him and then reading a report about it.

As the best symbol of the new Caribbean intellectual leader who overthrew the old obeah men in the 90s and 2000s, he has done so much but damage to the reputation of intellectuals and academics as practical leaders. His sheenya popot ganja policy is just one more example of how bright boys can be worth less than nothing. One more example of why no one will ever impress us with their PhD again. 


PhDees ought to be impressive. 

They are supposed to prove that you are a real original thinker. Many PhDees are. Dame Pearlette’s doctoral thesis can blow the future of education open for St Lucia. But Kenny? He can’t recognize an original idea when it’s giving the Throne Speech right before his eyes for twenty years straight. He has not implemented a single thing it says in his Governor General's doctoral thesis. Probably doesn't even know what it says.

You know what he has sanctioned and implemented with no CARICOM discussion? Alcohol over-consumption during the political season. He'll buy your drinks.



(Say "Bonjour, Mde Marie Jean...")

Marijuana is not just social justice for the dozens, maybe hundreds of offenders languishing in jail for a joint. Marijuana is growth for an island that has had no real growth for two decades. Marijuana is freedom for small farmers.

Let us take a moment to consider the reasons we haven't legalized it yet.

In the old days democratic leaders were afraid of making sense on marijuana because, you know, America. But it has nothing to do with America anymore. They are rolling down the road to legalization faster than we are. We be better off if we asked the US Ambassador for help growing better marijuana instead of help cutting it down. America is now officially better at growing weed than cutting it down. Thumbs up, dudes!

Colorado has proven that full scale legalization is not just safe, it is very, very good for the economy. And the big downside is not more kids smoking weed. It’s not more car accidents. It’s not more raped girls. The downside, for Colorado, is the smell of maka kush growing is just too strong in some poor neighborhoods. 

Rich people, of course, never suffer. They only profit.

Marijuana is smelly. Marijuana is not like cocaine and those hard drugs. Marijuana wants everyone to know it’s there. It doesn’t want to hide. But we won’t have to be growing it in our neighborhoods. So that doesn’t apply to us.

What about CARICOM? If we go it alone and rush ahead, won’t we negatively affect other CARICOM countries?

Lol. In practical terms, lol.

It has nothing to do with CARICOM. We don’t sell weed to CARICOM. That’s Jamaica’s problem. The only CARICOM territory that might taste our ganja is Barbados, a notoriously tight-assed island that seriously needs to chill out and smoke some more Vinci weed.

Our weed is not CARICOM’s problem and it never was. This isn’t cocaine or pharmaceuticals. CARICOM harmony is of no practical consequence in this matter.

We sell weed to France.

In the politics of ganja, we are not Caribbean. We are French. 100% French, 100% of the time. We are their profit, we are their problem, their producers and their power boats. Check the number of Lucians in jail in other regional territories. They’re all in Martinique. For drug related offenses. We are their dealers and jailbirds.

Martinique could have been a window for almost all our agriculture, but we messed up at Independence. We just kept paying tribute to Britain with our bananas until they got sick of us. Ganja growers never gave up the French though. They were the only ones here who realized that Europe was only 14 miles from St Lucia. Columbuses of Lucian agriculture. Pioneers, but pirates, So now, French people think of us as drug dealers instead of business farmers. But, at least we’re in the market. These ‘criminals’ have given us a lead.

Can we get a thank you for the drug dealers?

All the geniuses in government and big business agriculture haven’t figured it out, though. They still think Europe is across the Atlantic.

Geniuses…flat-brained geniuses. The Caribbean is almost done with you.


Almost all of St Lucia’s home grown and transshipment ganja from Vinci heads straight for Martinique. The goods are worth triple what they are here. The market dictates that Lucian farmers, boat men and dealers get paid in Euros instead of EC, whenever they get a chance. That’s just elementary economics. That’s not even full blown capitalism.

But this government, in a fit of fear that they are losing the youth the Greens and the No Voters, promises to do the same thing they did with the IMPACS report.

They are going to tie up the process. They are going to make it unnecessarily complicated so that the outcome is worth almost nothing at all.

In six months, we’re going to have a CARICOM commission, headed by people who haven’t read enough or smoked enough to know what they are talking about. They’re going to talk about the same stuff that little boys on the block who should be at school already know. They are going to spend lots of money to find out what Grass Street, Pancho de Caires and Dr Stephenson King have been telling them for free. For decades.

At best, the final report will recommend that ganja be treated like alcohol and cigarettes. Kids can’t have it. Manufacturers and vendors have to be licensed. And domestic consumption ought to be taxed heavily.

But, given that they are driven by cowardice into making a simple thing like descheduling ganja as frustrating as a regional legislative a cappela group rehearsal, they are a little more likely to do something retarded – like decriminalize small amounts of marijuana, but still sanction the systematic legal oppression of the farmers who are keeping the small island economies afloat.

All while politicians waste our money. Just what we need. More billable time wasting.

“Stop making recommendations!” Lucian Facebook screamed.

“Another damned commission! What the hell does that word even mean anymore?!?”

Now that the world is getting real about weed, speed is of the essence.

When it comes to ganja, the only friends and partners we have in the region are Vinci and Laba. The rest of them are either competitors or Jamaican/South American markets. It will be quite a few years before we can compete with the Jamaicans, in spite of tremendous improvements in ganja quality over the last few decades of, what’s it called, systematic oppression, by both Flambeau and Labour governments.

If anything, we should be rushing ahead of them, shutting them out of our markets while pushing into theirs. That’s called winning.

It is a race to legalize…in case you didn’t realize…

That Kenny Anthony....I don't understand him...
What's his fucking problem?



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