QUOTES & MISQUOTES FROM BUDGET 2013

If you were watching it on television, you were doing it wrong. You’re missing all the best parts.

If Parliament was about issues, substance and statistics, the world would already be a better place and there would be no need for Christianity. Parliament is about picong, the lively, funny, nasty, sometimes scary exchanges better the people who are called ‘Honorable’.

Because you missed it, here is a brief review of some of the best quotes and misquotes (well, they might be as the best lines are said when the mics are off) from the most unspectacular budget in the history of independent St Lucia. All quotes have been taken as completely out of context as humanly possible:

Wai! Wai! Wai! – the Waiwai Twins, as Pierre walked into the House with great swag.

This is our country. It doesn’t belong to Flambeau. It doesn’t belong to Labour. - RF

It belongs to me! - unidentified MP, mocking RF

We are going to do something new. We are going to follow the advice of scientists. – MJB

We are headed down a slippery cliff... – AJ

Chastanet’s expertise (is) as a spendthrift and a poor manager. – LT

I’m not one of those politicians who thrives on the failure (of the system) – RF

They gave up – MJB on Flambeau’s black sigatoka fight.

In the words of the great management theorist....- EE

Wai! Wai! Wai! – the Waiwai Twins

I have a new appreciation for hypocrisy (because of) the opposition leader – who is in a perpetual state of amnesia. – LT

We never had any intention to move a fiscal deficit budget. We always contemplated surpluses. – RF

When Flambeau talks about wastage, we should take their word for it. They’re experts. – LT

I want to move on to cemeteries. – AJ

Please do. – unidentified MP

It was Albert Einstein who observed...- EE

Wai! Wai! Wai! – the Waiwai Twins

Running an intentional deficit and having external difficulties get a hold of you are two different things. – RF

There’s a lot of overcrowding and congestion in cemeteries. –AJ

Did we honestly believe we would collect the entire VAT money ($98m)? We kyah collect $54 million from a handful of hoteliers, how can we collect $98 million from all these people? – RF

If something isn’t done, we’re going to have some problems with our dead. – AJ

Three million for refurbishing Vieux Fort Square? Three million, Mr Speaker? I suspect soon there will be a throne in that Square. The PM just wants to mimc my performance. Maybe he can rename his ‘Tranquilty Park.’ – RF

I know every single person in my constituency from the little child growing up. – AJ

Wai! Wai! Wai! – the Waiwai Twins

The touristic genius and majesty that is Allen Chastanet. – LT

I want to compliment the civil servants (on their zero per cent stance) – RF

Don’t be so naive. – RL

Let us be like them and lead by example, foregoing all MP salary increases... – RF

We did that already – HD

Let us stop the luxurious upgrading of offices...Mr Speaker, did I hear there is a Jacuzzi in the prime minister’s offices? – RF

Did you put one there? – PMKA

15 minutes, honourable member...I thought you were still introducing. Up to now I haven’t heard a debate on the estimates. – Speaker to RF

There are so many people in the St Lucian mission in Martinique that you can’t fit all of them in a coaster. – GR, on increases in the foreign ministry budget.

The increases in the budget of the foreign affairs department are less than Allen Chastanet’s phone bill as a minister. – LT

My slogan was ‘Este for All’ – EE

You mean, ‘Este for One’? – HD

Este fal? – PJP

He (Chastanet) paid $900,000 for a new branding that was plagiarized from Peru. – LT

I am a quiet man. Some might even say I’m bashful. – EE

Wai! Wai! Wai! – the Waiwai Twins

Nowadays, my PM is very happy. He used to be so sad in opposition. - EE