Monday, 15 September 2014


A Negmarron Nightmare

One upon a time in a land exactly where you live, a group of smart-assed lawyers and PhDs got together and decided to be sausage makers.

Lol. Not weally. They really decided to hijack a country and make people like it.

The country's government was kuwwupt and the people were vewy, vewy unhappy. So the new bunch of vagabonds and piwates decided to sell the people a magic potion which they pwomised would make evewy politician honest, at least about their finances, holdings and assets.

The people dwank it. They dwank it aaaaallll dooowwn.

But the magic potion was just Kool Aid. When the new cannibal kings...I mean, lawyers and PhDs, wrote up some legislation that said that certain people in offices of power, whether elected or not, have to weeport themselves, their money, their assets, holdings, etc. they made sure it didn't have any sting. All they did was pweetend to be transpawent.

About evewything but their jabals.


But hear dat:

The legislation was not just Kool Aid. It was actually bullshit, too. I told you that constitutional lawyer was a genius. He ripped the very fabric of the space-time continuum to produce legislation that was two kinds of poisonous substance AT THE SAME TIME. He gave it his boys. They dried it, rolled it, called it cannabis and made the people smoke it. As everyone knows, bullshit makes you high. So peoples gots high. But it was no ganja. 

Ganja is to plants as man is to animals. It's the last, bestest plant that God made. If God was a plant, he'd look like Ganja.

In the name of the Ganja, the Indica and the Sativa, Amen.

Bullshit is not one of God's creations, it is a result of God's creation. It makes you high with ammonia.

You might as well dry your pee down to crystals and smoke it in a crack pipe.

So it was with the Integrity Commission and the anti-corruption legislation. Dried pee in a crack pipe. Smoke that, stupid niggers. And shabines. And dirty whites. And expats.

Imagine this:

The Integrity Commission that was  established to police the finances of the potentially corrupt...had no punitive powers. Basically, if you did't comply and satisfy the Integrity Commission, they could publish your name in the Gazette. 


Watch all the scawed gwaft-mongerers wunning for shelter and weeporting themselves to get a lighter sentence. 

You all not running for shelter?
You know the fellaz so boldfaced,they're not running for shelter, they running for elections again?

And so when one government investigated itself for corruption, all the culprits, including Rufus Bousquet and Charles Fleming had nothing to fear. What was going to happen? Nothing.
When another party came in power in 1997, they could have changed all that. But then it would expose them and their friends to you know, integrity and shit. 

And so you get what you have here.

Essentially, the legislation and anti-corruption measures that one party put in place were so gay that when the other party's Forty Feeves took over in 2006, they basically had a license to steal.
You got that? That sunk in? Let's do it again.

One party's anti-corruption and pro-integrity measures were so weak that they basically gave the other party a license to steal.


Lucky for us, we don't live in that nightmare fairytale country. We live in a reality where a genius constitutional lawyer named Kenny Anthony, who leads us so ably out of the abyss right now, wrote legislation that had severe penalties for corruption. Kenny Anthony changed everything forever when he brought the Integrity Commission into being with his cosmic constitutional omnipotence.

Let the angels sing.

That's why, ever since he first came into power, St Lucia has seen so many corrupt politicians and civil servants go to jail. We had to legalize drugs just to make room in the jails for corrupt politicians and professionals. Hallelujuah!!

Because of Kenny Anthony, we live in the best of all possible worlds where there are no poor people in jail, just real criminals. Church!!!!

Kenny Anthony's anti-corruption legislation and Integrity Commission are so strong that Lucian leaders can't make a dishonest dollar without some bad shit coming down on them. No one in any political party can step out of line with the St Lucian people, because Kenny Anthony is such a genius that no one can commit corruption without taking some jail. Praise the holy name of the Anthony....

Thank God for Kenny that we don't live a fairy tale where our leaders of government and business can do whatever they want and never have to face a single legal consequence.

Why thank you Jason....that's very grateful of you...

Oh shit.

We don't live in that country? We live in the one where everything is screwed up and the Integrity Commission is powerless?

Omg, I can't tell the difference between a horrible nightmare and the Lucian reality anymore. I'm freaking out.

Damn. Lucian weed must be getting better for true.

You see that? If the government was smart they would legalize weed and then everyone would be as delusional and oblivious to the facts as me.

In conclusion, this story is not about endemic corruption after all. It's about how legalizing ganja can help turn more ordinary St Lucians into harmless, misguided bloggers like Jason Sifflet. One wonders why Lucian politicians wouldn't want more of that...

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