JACK DON'T WANT..... (The ALLEN CHASTANET REMIX)

with thanks to the Eastern Caribbean's Greatest Calypsonian, Songwriter and Lyricist, The Mighty Gabby

Dear JACK, I mean Chas:

It has come to my attention that you are one of those most rare and under-appreciated of St Lucians – those who are not against selling a beach or two. Your justification for this is that the courts have decided that it can be legal for a hotel to own a beach. And that if we, as a country decide that we don’t want to sell beaches, we should legislate against it.

Awww...you're the guy who sells beaches? No way...

Good idea. But I definitely get the feeling that I can’t count on you for that. After all, you done try a sell one beach already and you’re not even sorry.

In case you haven’t noticed, most St Lucians are dead set against this idea that they can sell their mother’s breasts and cro…I mean mountains and beaches. Most of us are pretty sure that they are much more than we can get for them on the open market right now and would rather wait than sell out now.

Having never owned a piece of our country before, we would like to see much of it preserved at least until we can own a piece of it, long before foreign investors drive the prices out of our range.
Okay, the Sandals thing happened. That was a mistake. Everything about that damned Causeway is a mistake.

Jalousie Beach, Cleavage of God...."Sell it!!!!"

But haven’t you learned anything from what happened to you after trying to sell Jalousie Beach? People will hate you. even the ones who like you now.

The Queen’s Chain should actually be increased so foolish developers don’t build right into the water. Most hotels in St Lucia right now are less than 40 feet from the water. It’s ridiculous.  It means there is less beach for tourists. Even if you own the beach, you shouldn’t build on it. You’re diminishing future returns. At Sandals Grande, the guests can’t even lounge on the beach at high tide without getting splashed.

The assholes who built the monstrosity ensured that they gave the tourists as little beach as possible. Doh! Face-slap central. Good tourism includes giving guests more beach for their romances. More space for locals to do whatever it is they do.

The way hotels build beaches now, you can barely have fun without getting in someone else’s way.
I concede that there are assholes among the locals who think it is their right to litter, to make noise. They don’t understand that driving on the beach and running horses causes erosion. Fucking clueless. It’s like they didn’t go to primary school. We need to make them understand. And we need to legislate and enforce against  abject stupidity.

Do NOT make me blow  conch shell on you,  Allen...

But we eh selling what our ancestors slaved and suffered and died for.

We’re not going back to Africa any time soon, so this is what we have.

The beach, like the forest, the air, the rivers, the iguana and the parrot is not for sale. It is for use, for fun, for profit, for science. But selling it is a world of environmental, economic and political trouble.

Think VAT is a problem? Try selling another beach. And good luck with that Prime Minister thing. Given your opinion on selling beaches, you will forgive me if I bet all my money against you.