Saturday, 13 July 2013

THANKS FOR SAYING 'NO' TO FLAMBEAU



AN OPEN LETTER TO SIR K. DWIGHT VENNER,



GOV/ECCB

DE FACTO LEADER OF THE NON-EXISTENT EAST CARIBBEN FEDERATION

DEFENDER OF THE HISTORICALLY ESTEEMED EAST CARIBBEAN DOLLAR

AND ENEMY OF IDIOTS WITH POWER EVERYWHERE



 

Sir K Dwight...the Hair...I mean, head of the ECCB

GOOD KNIGHT, GOOD SIR:

THANK YOU FOR NOT ACCEPTING THE OFFER TO BECOME THE LEADER OF, YOU KNOW, THAT PARTY THAT REALLY SHITTED THINGS UP.

THESE PEOPLE AREN’T READY FOR YOU ANYWAY. THEY’D JUST END UP STAINING YOUR LEGACY. NOT TO MENTION BEING DESSALINES TO YOUR TOUSSAINT. OH YEAH. BELIEVE IT. THEY’D FUCKING KILL YOU…SIR.

IT IS UNFORTUNATE. BECAUSE ONE OF THE PROBLEMS WITH THE BEST INTENTIONED POLITICIANS IS THAT THEY HAVE THE RIGHT AIMS, BUT THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE THE INSTRUMENTS OF GOVERNMENT SO THEY END UP FUCKING THINGS UP ANYWAY (see current St Lucia government). SOMETIMES, IT’S ALMOST BETTER TO HAVE BAD LEADERS WHO ARE DELIBERATELY FUCKING THINGS UP, SO AT LEAST YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR THEM WHEN THEY ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS (see past St Lucia government).

YOU, HOWEVER, HAVE BOTH THE RIGHT INTENTIONS AND AN INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF THE INSTRUMENTS OF GOVERNMENT. (One understands that,  in fact, the Lucian Ministry of Finance was once your jabal and that were it not for the intervention of higher powers, you may have fallen completely under her spell. Just joking. About the spell part. Not the jabal part.)

EC underground rappers call these Venners
Because you can actually use them for something
And because Dwight signs them
'
THESE STRENGTHS THAT ARE MARRIED IN YOUR EXCELLENT PERSON ARE THE VERY THING OUR COUNTRIES NEED IN THIS PRESENT CRISIS, WHERE WE FACE NOT JUST FAILURE BUT A FORM OF EXTINCTION, OR AT LEAST, SOCIO-ECONOMIC FAMINE.
NOT TO MENTION THAT OF THE GREAT MEN I KNOW PERSONALLY, YOU ARE ONE OF ONLY TWO WHO MAY CONCEDE THAT A SOJOURN IN THE POLITICAL REALM, THOUGH DAMAGING TO ONE’S SELF, COULD BE NECESSARY. YOU ARE ONE OF TWO WHO MIGHT SACRIFICE HIS STATURE TO INSEMINATE THIS BITCH OF A COUNTRY WITH SOME RIGHT-THINKING AND RIGHT ACTION.

YOUR ONLY WEAKNESS IN SUCH A VENTURE WOULD BE THAT YOU ARE NOT A FORMER COMMUNIST AND SO YOU DO NOT HAVE THAT FORENSIC, DETAILED UNDERSTANDING OF THE HEART OF THE CARIBBEAN VOTER.

BUT THESE ARE SMALL MATTERS THAT CAN BE OVERCOME IN A FEW NIGHTS OF MODERATE DRINKING AND HEAVY SPENDING. NOT TO MENTION THAT THERE ARE ENOUGH FORMER COMMUNISTS ON THE MARKET LOOKING TO AUGMENT AND ENHANCE THEIR PENSIONS WHO WOULD BE MORE THAN WILLING TO SCHOOL YOU IN CATCHING THAT PARTICULAR FISH.

IN LIGHT OF THE FACT THAT IT HAS BECOME CLEAR THAT WE IN ST LUCIA GET THE LEADERS WE DESERVE (I.E. CHASTANET OR AT BEST KENNY ANTHONY…AND YES, CHASTANET IS GOING TO WIN, SEE CHAS BEATS KING 11-6 ) THE FLOGG IS ENDEAVOURING TO ATTRACT, CULTIVATE AND TO SOME EXTENT CONSOLIDATE THE IDEAS OF REGIONALISM WITHIN A CRITICAL MASS OF THE PEOPLE.

Now, that's a country! Which one? All of them!
THIS WE DO IN THE HOPES THAT IN THE FUTURE, WE MAY BECOME THE KIND OF PEOPLE WHO DESERVE BETTER LEADERS. AS YOU WELL KNOW, WHILE SUSTAINABLE CHANGE TAKES SUSTAINED EFFORT, SIGNIFICANT CHANGE CAN, GIVEN THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES AND PROVOKATIONS…I MEAN, CATALYSTS, SIGNIFICANT CHANGE CAN HAPPEN IN A MOMENT.

WE SHALL ENDEAVOUR TO SUSTAIN THE FIGHT FOR THE AIMS OF OUR NASCENT NATION, FOR THE FINANCIAL PRINCIPLES OF SOCIAL CONSERVATISM THAT YOU ADMINISTER, DEFEND AND PROMOTE, AND EVEN SOME THAT YOU DON’T. WE SHALL WISELY PUBLICIZE, PROPOGATE AND PROMULGATE SUCH PRINCIPLES AND PURSUE SUCH STRATEGIES AS YOUR EMINENCE WILL COMMAND. AND OF COURSE, WE SHALL INITIATE NOFF OFFENSES OF OUR OWN.

FOR THOUGH WE KNOW THAT MEN ARE BUT MEN, WE HAVE NOTHING BUT MEN BY WHICH PRINCIPLES SHALL BE UPHELD AND NOTHING BUT MEN BY WHICH PROGRESS SHALL BE PURSUED AND ATTAINED.

WE PLEDGE OUR HONEST, CONDITIONAL LOYALTY TO YOUR PERSON AND OUR HONEST, UNCONDITIONAL LOYALTY TO THE CAUSE OF THE EAST CARIBBEAN FEDERATION AND THE GREAT CARIBBEAN CIVILIZATION.

BY THE WAY:

WOULD YOU CONSIDER THE GREEN PARTY? OR PERHAPS THE BEACH PARTY? HONEST AND EXCELLENT MEN (and men I also mean women, but am strictly excluding BOYS) BREAK BREAD AND IMBIBE IN BOTH ‘ORGANIZATIONS’ – if they can be called that. THEIR MAIN WEAKNESS AS POLITICIANS IS THAT, SIMPLY PUT, THEY ARE NOT. THEY HAVE NO DESIRE TO WIN ELECTIONS OR HOLD OFFICE, BUT ONLY WANT TO SE A FULSOME, PROPER REPRIORITIZATION IN THE REALM OF CARIBBEAN POLITICS, FINANCE, AGRICULTURE, SPORTS, THE…YEAH, YOU GET THE PICTURE. EVERYTHING THAT HAS NOT BEEN WORKING MUST BE CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.

THEY WILL NOT MAKE COMMERCE WITH GOD AND  THE DEVIL. BUT YOU, AS A CHRISTIAN MAN IN PUBLIC FINANCE HAVE SUCCESSFULLY NEGOTIATED WITH THEM BOTH OVER DECADES….

NO?

NO BEACH PARTY?

PERHAPS AN EASTERN CARIBBEAN BLOODLESS COUP WHERE WE HEADHUNT THE BEST LEADERS FROM THE OECS ISLANDS, FORM A FEDERATION GOVERNMENT AND LET EVERYONE WHO’S NOT ON BOARD BE THE JACKASS OPPOSITION. REGIONALISTS VS ISLAND NATIONALISTS, GUESS WHO WINS, THIS TIME, ERIC W., YOU LEGENDARY SON OF A BITCH…(excuse me, ahem)

I CAN’T ORGANIZE THAT MYSELF, BUT I KNOW A GUY…HE’S VERY GOOD…

They don't know Walcott, Hippolyte or Collymore, so they think THIS guy is a poet
SINCERE APOLOGIES FOR THE DELIBERATE AND GENEROUS USE OF GRACELESS, INDELICATE PROFANITIES. (I’M ALSO AFRAID AUNTY MARTHA AND AUNTY CYNTHIA READ THIS BLOG.) THE STYLE IS INTENDED TO BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN CLASSICAL & MODERN ENGLISH AND MODERN CARIBBEAN VERNACULAR. KWEYOL PHRASES ARE THROWN IN THE WAY SHAKESPEARE AND JONSON AND THEM USED TO FLAVOR THINGS WITH LATIN.

I DO THIS MERELY TO EFFECT VIRAL INFECTIONS OF SUBSTANTIVE ISSUES, ANALYSIS AND KNOWLEDGE INTO MOTHERFUCKERS WHO THINK LI’L WAYNE IS BRILLIANT FUCKING POET. I HOPE YOU WILL FORGIVE ME FOR THE CONCESSIONS I HAVE MADE FOR THE SAKE OF OUR FUTURE VICTORIES.

I WISH YOU THE BEST AS YOU CONTINUE TO TRY TO KEEP THESE ASSHOLES IN LINE. FEEL AT LIBERTY TO HAVE ONE OF YOUR KNIGHTS OR SQUIRES  REPOST THIS PARTICULAR MESSAGE TO AS MANY DIFFERENT SUPPORTERS AND SYMPATHIZERS OF OUR COMMON CAUSE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

MAY GOD BE WITH YOU.

AND ALSO WITH ME.

Ras J with Special Consultant and FLOGG VP for Milk and Pocoyo, Noah
RAS J SIFFLET, SAINT JUSTE
Duke of the Minor Realm of Thefloggblog.blogspot.com
Low Prince and Actuator of Free Speech
Enemy of Liars, Hypocrites and Separators of The Federation
And ever
Your Humble Servant

THIS COMMUNICATION WILL NOT SELF-DESTRUCT

IT WILL NOT DIE OR FADE AWAY

IT WILL OPEN THE DOOR TO NEW FUTURES

AND BECOME A SMALL MARKER OF THE NEW THRESHOLD OF OUR COMMON HISTORY

AMEN

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