WE CAN FUCK OUR WAY TO UNITY
BUT SOMEONE IS COCK-BLOCKING CARIBBEAN REGIONALISM
EC Federation: Now that's a fucking country! |
Who?
You know damned well. The people who have the most to gain by maintaining the status quo, that's who.
These motherfuckers don’t know what they’ll do if we just
unify and they can’t hire their friends and jabals as consultants to write reports on obstacles to unity and how to get over
them. The consultancy scam will be over and they will all have to get
real jobs. I mean, seriously, how hard is it to unify eight insignificant drops
of flyshit? You just roll them together. Or just get out of the way so we can
do it ourselves.
Believe me. We can do it. We can unify the Caribbean without paperwork, bureaucracy or Viagra.
Antiguan fellas have jungle fever for Lucian
women, Bajans have it for Lucian men and Lucian men have it for Dominican
women. If politicians and LIAT get out of the way, Caribbean people will fuck
their way to unity in two and a half months.
You’re laughing.
But not just
because it’s funny, but because it’s true. You know we’ll do it too. Give us a
ferry and get the cost of Customs, or at least Immigration out of the way and
the only thing you have to worry about is the health care cost of unity. Babies
and STDs, CLR. Babies and STDs.
Frenchie, the Anglo-Caribbean Condom: Fighting for Truth, Justice and the Caribbean way |
Luckily condoms are cheaper than both of those and defying
the Catholic Church is free. Condoms are the only thing that should keep
Caribbean people apart.
If politicians (and fucking LIAT) would just help or get out
of the way, within a generation, more than half the people will be half-this,
half-that. In two generations, words like St Lucian and Dominican will have no
civil significance and will only refer to cultural peculiarities. As these peculiarities
evolve, words like Vincentian and Kittian will go the way of words like
Etruscan and Aragonian. Or perhaps become like the word Sicilian, which has its
own identity but only as a distinct subset of the well-consolidated category
called Italian.
In the end who really needs to be a St Lucia so bad that he
is willing to pass up being a real West Indian? Only 17 people I know. And once
they leave office, even they will be on our side. And the only thing we have
to worry about is the next 17 power hoarders who fully understand that regional
unity should, to a large extent, bring an end to these useless, foolish
national governments and most of their political careers.
Heeey Jason,
ReplyDeleteA Caribbean friend who lives in China sent me this article saying that he thought it's something I'd like. He underestimated me, I love it! As I read smiling, or laughing, but more importantly in agreement, I wondered, who is this bold, funny and totally sensible writer telling it as it is? I was pleasantly surprised to come to the end of the article and see the by line of my former classmate from Barbados Community College - Jason Sifflet. From our mass communication days, you were always very bright, aware and candid. I always admired that about you and I'm happy to see you're still that way. You are so damn correct in this blog post!
It's lovely to reconnect with you after all these years. I've added you to my Google+ and will follow your blog from here on. Please feel free to visit mine as well, "Island Soul City Dreams" at the domain: caribscribe.com. Thanks and please let's stay in touch. One love, my brother. :-)
Ah...it's happening...strangers are sending old friends the links.
ReplyDeleteI was looking at my stats wondering who the hell was reading this in Taiwan and China (and Russia and the Ukraine).
I'm new at this so any advice you can give me on boosting audience, i wd appreciate.
In box me: jsifflet@gmail.com
Nice to be in touch again.
Glad you enjoy that thing I do.
J
Sooooooo true, I love it!
ReplyDelete