OBEAH BOM - Voodoo: The New Technology of Prostitution

You cannot resist me.......Mwahahahahahaha, kofkofgruuuuuwak! Spit!

Science, voodoo, gardeurs, doctors, women, business, manufacturing - they're all against us. We're on our own. First they try to convince us our things are tiny. Then they try to sell us stuff to make it bigger. Meanwhile, they plying us with alcohol and drugs to make us mol. Once we mol, we have to buy the thing, of course. And all the time, the women have hair and nails to do, clothes to buy and places to go. And we're paying. How is we, uh?

Felluz! 

Garcon, felluz! If y’all know what really going on….y’all eh never going out and picking up no woman again. Hear that:

You know the classified ads for love potions and psychics and gardeurs in the back of the Voice and the STAR newspapers? Girls’re not using that for love, uh garconfelluz. Girls’re using that to eat your money. Re-al!

A FLOGG investigation team (again, Jason and his imaginary dog Sheep) has uncovered a nexus between obeah and bom that rivals the nexus between guns and drugs for social impact. Following the trail of one of the ads led to an operator in Gros Islet (not on the church side of the main street, the other side, down the road from Castro), where a pseudo-medical business, with spiritual quackery thrown in, is raking in what is reported to be tens of thousands a month for the love potion alone.

The operator markets the product as a relationship and marriage aid, like steroids for your monogamous relationship. But women of all classes and ages have reportedly been buying the potion with something other than monogamy in mind.

Felluz! The girls’re buying expensive obeah oils and ting to rub on themselves.

Then they’re going out and look for man. Not even the gardeurs could have predicted this.

But it’s not their man they’re looking for. It’s you. And your bredren rolling with you. So when they roll on you, you’re helpless. You’re under a spell. Your pheromones’re focking you up. Felluz! Next ting you know, you paying for things that’re not in your budget. You spending hours doing things you’re not interested in.

Then after that, you’re making calls but they’re not answering. You’re tracking. You’re creeping. You’re a zombie. A love potion zombe. You think it’s just Tabanka, but they done bury your heart under a silk cotton tree.

Felluz! That’s how the AIDS is spreading now.

Felluz! Everybody's against us. Everybody but the condom man. He's our only friend. Our last secular protector. Don't be a dumdum, wear the condom.

Or better yet, stay home and make your woman do strip tease for you while you throw five dollar bills at her. Not money they always want?