Sunday 15 September 2013

THE GREATEST LUCIAN PRIME MINISTERS OF THE NEAR FUTURE


JULIAN HUNTE 

JRH: Why is this man not Prime Minister?

What wouldn’t we give for Julian Hunte to be young and in excellent health right now? What we wouldn’t give for him to have the energy to put on his bandana, roll up his sleeves and get to work? Julian Hunte was one of the few people in St Lucian politics who achieved anything in his personal life. He wasn’t the greatest strategist in the world, allowing himself to be outflanked by Compton, who basically ran a government of Castries reps while Hunte’s Labour won all the rest of the island. But in the post-Compton world, isn’t Julian Hunte exactly what we need? A compassionate business man with no ideology, lots of practical experience, a good international reputation and a real record of putting his money where his mouth is. What wouldn’t we give for a Hunte comeback? What do you say, Mr Hunte?


EDSEL EDMUNDS

The only problem is winning you a seat.

Although he is one of St Lucia’s most brilliant scientists (yes, there are more) Edsel Edmunds became famous, not for discovering that a microscopic vampire worm that was sucking the blood out of the banana industry but for being the head of the OAS for so long that people forgot he was a brilliant scientist who saved an industry. Compton flirted with the idea of grooming Edmunds as his successor upon his return to politics, but the political scene in Flambeau was too dirty for a bona fide good guy. Edmunds like international contacts coming out of his ears and stuck in his freakish Mormon-style beard and the discipline, work ethic and respect that anyone would want out of a leader. He might need someone to help him win a seat, but so did Kenny Anthony when he first got out of the ivory tower and touched the ground at Hewanorra Airport in 2006.


MIKEY PILGRIM 

He has less hair  now, but we're not voting for his hair.

Someone once said that Mikey Pilgrim is the only ex-communist in the entire world who knew a damned thing about finance and economics. This may not be perfectly true (see Angela Merkel), but it does point to the fact that Pilgrim is one of the few people anyone knows personally who both has a detailed understand of the complex obeah of the finance world AND a well developed social conscience. Most good politicians can only manage a lot of one and a lot of the other. Most average politicians don’t even know what the hell I’m talking about right now. They think I’m just high. Couyons.


DWIGHT VENNER

Becoming prime minister would be a demotion for him.

If God was a party delegate, he would nominate Sir K. Dwight Venner for political leadership. But God don’t give a damn about human politics, no matter what Richard Frederick and Guy Joseph try to tell you. And so, Sir Dwight spends his days signing dollar bills (lmao) and trying to keep Eastern Caribbean leaders from doing the stupid things they actually think of. Venner, like Pilgrim, has the detailed understanding of finance and economics and has the only thing that can be better than a social conscience – the Christian conscience. At least, I think he does. I’ve never asked him, but you know the kind of people who just look and feel like they love and respect God? That’s Venner.


HENRY CHARLES

The only  reason  he's politically blacklisted is that he's dangerously good at winning.

Henry Charles may not be a financial wizard or foreign relations guru but he has one strong point over all the geniuses aforementioned. Henry Charles can win any election challenge that he accepts. He truly understands how what is in the heart of men translates into votes and power. He understands the power of compassion and caring and how to harness that power to rush those who oppose the revolution. Oh. Um, did I mention that he’s an excellent ex-communist who has no problem giving America the finger? Right. Okay. Not a strong point. But I did say that Charlo is one of the most astute players of the political game. And he is one of the few political players who has bested John Compton in battle (the mid-90s strikes). He is also one of the few politicians who is authentically 'ghetto'. He knows the science of moving people, unlike most of the rest of the gamblers in the political game. And anyone who says Charlo is corrupt or that he doesn’t have what it takes is lying to you. They are afraid of what he can do. They know that Charlo can change an otherwise intractable situation by spending a couple of hours on a street corner talking to people while they have to hide while they strategize and plot ways out of their own mistakes. And did I mention that he can win any election challenge he is presented with? Yes. Yes I did.


PHILIP PIERRE

Most men in his position would have slit some throats already

The only reason why this man is not at the top of the list is because  he doesn't want to be there. The humble, but politically aggressive deputy to the Prime Minister has made little of his political acumen and downplayed any prime ministerial ambitions anyone else has for him. But Philip Pierre is pissing me off by allowing people to think he’s not prime ministerial material. Instead he spends his energies defending his chosen leader and making absolutely sure that there is NO CHANCE of Labour having a break down. To his detractors, he’s a stammering attack dog who seized the deputy leadership of the party back when the chips were down and competition was not strong. To his secret admirers, however, Philip Pierre is one of those honestly smart politicians who doesn’t have to boast his masters degree to prove his achievements. And finally, friends in Flambeau might glad to know that if Philip Pierre were Prime Minister, we would not be as deep geo-political dog shit as we are today. Alva Baptiste and the rest of the goddam Chinese communist children in Cabinet would have to cool their fucking noodles and let the PM make a sensible decision.


Hey Kenny, you really think these guys are better than us?
 
Better than you, for sure.
 

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