THE SOUTHERN
UNIVERSITY TOWN PLAN SCAM
Part of an
ongoing investigation into
THE GHOST OF
THE NEW FRONTIER
This town needs an enema
When Kenny
Anthony first boasted that Vieux Fort was going to be a university, anyone who
attended university abroad could smell the money. Even me. And you know me. Usually,
all I can smell is rats.
University
towns are like the best of everything. Your ‘tourists’ are long term and are
generally smart, young, spendthrift people, instead of the old, stupid cheapskates
who tend to populate all-inclusive hotels and cruise ships. There are no
all-inclusives, so the money doesn’t trickle down, it saturates the ground,
seeping into the driest cracks while simultaneously flooding the economic
plain.
There is not
a university town in the world that is a shit hole, something that cannot be
said for tourism towns or manufacturing towns. Good universities tend to
improve not just the economy but the politics, culture and spirit of
surrounding areas.
My Caribbean
experience of Barbados Community College (now Cambridge something or the other)
and Cave Hill Campus had taught me that the artificial Barbadian community of
Wanstead was, in fact, engineered as a real estate gold mine. It’s not a
natural community with two bakeries and some grocery shops and a church. It’s
an economic strategy, a real estate ploy to exploit the fact that thousands of
Caribbean students need housing as close to campus as possible.
The original
Cave Hill dorms were built before the surrounding communities exploded into
residential complexes. They couldn’t serve all the students. Wanstead was a
response. Every single house in Wanstead is either for rent or has an apartment
for rent. Every single one.
Let the
church say $Ch-ching$!
The newer
dorms were built, not just to bring in more revenue for the university that
created the real estate gold mine, but to act as a balance against rising
rents.
It’s a neat
little eco-system. Except for the fact that there is no hot bread around the
corner. For me, the 24 hour auto-mart at the bottom of Cave Hill is great for a
3 am beer run, but I woulda given up all its convenience for some fresh hot
creole bread. (Melting butter not included.)
Of course,
Wanstead’s landlords don’t really give a damned about my hot bread fixations.
Paying off their mortgages is child’s play. Owning a house with apartments in
Wanstead is like winning the lottery a little bit at a time, every month, for
the rest of your natural life.
That’s what
the promise of a tourism town in Vieux Fort was supposed to mean. Except with
hot bread in the morning. And the afternoon. And the early evening.
Wins all
around.
All this and an education, too?
Vieux Fort
was finally on its way to fulfilling at least one of its promises to become St
Lucia’s second city. It was all going so well. But of course, we all know that’s
the best sign that things have gone completely wrong. The smell of hot bread
was imaginary. But something else was in the air. A so familiar scent…
Like I said…rats.
THIS ISN’T
VIEUX FORT…THIS…IS…SPARTAN!!!!
(Or How To
Strangle Little Southern Landlords)
For the last
couple of decades, Spartan Medical University has been at the heart of this
emerging university town. Vieux Fort has made millions on rents, services, food
and drinks for the relatively few students who study at Sparta every year. Now
that the school is gaining a better reputation than most schools in its
category, it is getting more popular.
And its
management has a brilliant idea that they should build hundreds of dorm rooms
for their students. This will not only raise the university’s revenues, it will
increase security for the students and encourage them to stay closer to school
facilities and most importantly,…
It will
strangle Vieux Fort’s little landlords, who have come to depend on the students
to rent their apartments, fund their expansions and support whatever real
middle class the south has left.
Serve them
right for price gouging. For riding high without defending their economic turf.
Fuck the southern middle class. Fuck all landowners. Inbred aristocrats, all of
them.
Except that
the southern landlords who are about to get screwed by Spartan are on our side,
so, if they suffer, we suffer. Not good. Dammit, eh…
So they
should lower rents to be more competitive than the dorms, right? Yeah. Sure.
That’s one way to lower your VAT. Amongst others…like starving your children…and
shooting yourself.
But before
we light the pitchforks and set out into the night after the evil scientists
who have put our people in this position, let us consider this:
Even with
their massive landlord strangling scheme to construct dorm rooms, Spartan is
still plus in Vieux Fort. Relatively speaking, they are still the best of the
bunch in the southern university scam….
I mean,
city. Town. That’s not what I said?
Lol.
What did I
say…?
IF JE$U$ WAS LOADED...
David Singh,director of...
Oh I'm sorry, that's Je$u$...
(…aaaaand ACTION!)
The silent
death that stalks Vieux Fort’s landlords is so stealthy, that it is mentioned
in the last government’s top secret quadrant development plan and the new
drafts for the Vision Plan AS A GOOD THING.
Collective
national face palm.
It also
benefits from the fact that some of the people who followed Spartan into Vieux
Fort’s university town dream are not made of the same stuff as Spartan. Spartan
is not a scam. It is a real school. A real member of the Vieux Fort community. Compared
to some of the others, Spartan’s plan to build dorms that take the bread out of
southerners’ mouths is child’s play.
"Who me?" Yeah, you!
Take what’s
his name from Destiny University. David Singh. Google him. This guy makes you
thank God for Spartan at the moment when Spartan is going all Xerxes on your black
Greek Nobel Prize winning ass.
You'd rather this guy army than David Singh's charity
GOODREADS says
he is the author of a book called TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCIAL DESTINY. He
founded Fortune Financial Corp. and Infinity Mutual Funds Management, Inc. His
companies hired 700 sales agents. He made millions and helped others donate
millions more to charity. I mean, ‘charity.’
Who is this millionaire genius philanthropist David Singh
who dropped on us out of Canadian Olympus?
He was born
in Guyana but they don’t want to take responsibility for him anymore and I don’t
blame them. He’s a Canadian, although, they would rather send him on a one way
flight back to Guyana. Or wherever. And under both Labour and Flambeau governments,
he was one of Vieux Fort South’s favorite foreigners.
“Destiny Group of Companies selected St.
Lucia this year as the destination to host their Incentive Programme which
brought to the island in excess of 80 persons comprising of Executives of the
Group, Independent Financial & Tax Planners, their spouses and children.
They are guests at the Almond Morgan Bay Resort, Choc, Gros Islet for the
period May 20 – 27, 2007 and apart from enjoying the beautiful beaches, playing
golf and sightseeing tours, there was also a serious dimension to the programme
when on Monday and Tuesday there was a two half day “Strategies for Success
Conference” which exposed participants to information about the achievements of
the Group of Companies and the outlining of new investment programmes for
2007/2008. The second day of the conference was addressed by Hon. Stephenson
King, Acting Prime Minister and Minister of Health and Labour Relations and Mr.
Nicholas John, Attorney at Law and Executive Chairman of the National
Development Corporation. Their presentations afforded the visitors a level of
comfort that will redound to substantial investments in Offshore International
Business Corporations (IBCs) and real estate on the island.”
Business guru,, consultant, Christian and David Singh lover, Edward Harris
What fond reminiscence.
The stuff that dreams are made of, right, Ed?
Harris
continued to Singh songs of adulation for his hero. Singh was a finance mogul
who went all humanitarian. Disaster relief, HIV/AIDS, rebuilding Grenada,
medical donations. He healed the sick and sheltered the homeless. He fed the
poor and enriched the middle class. He made millions in everything he did,
including charity. This guy was better than Jesus. He was Wall Street Je$u$.
He had
donated 40 beds to Victoria hospital, alone. In a handing over ceremony held on
May 23rd 2007, he promised 100 more “electrical beds, millions in
medical equipment, new cafeteria building (wa!), a gym and lockers for the entire staff.”
Easy like
dropping manna from the sky.
Je$u$, mweh
di’w! Je$i Kwi with money and friend$ with money. And all us niggers were his
nigger$.
In his
entourage, he had celebrities…okay, Canadian celebrities, but still, these
people had real internet credibility. Former ministers (Joe Fontana), former
athletes (Adrion Smith). He found RARE (Responsibility, Attitude, Respect and
Education) for God’s sake. Business people, bankers and politicians all had his
phone number. You can count the number of local lawyers who didn’t kiss his
ass.
“He has his
eyes on two important areas in the financial services sector, offshore banking
and money transfer business,” his good friend Harris wrote, somewhat
prophetically. “His investment in real estate on the island sets the stage for
a major tourism project in the Pigeon Island are. Given the network of
financial consultants on his team, putting together the finances shouldn’t be a
problem. The Destiny Village project is already receiving attention from locals
and visitors and in the months ahead the project will be unveiled.”
That was
only about 66 months ago. So, you know, it could still happen. Lol.
Since then,
Canada.com has reported that the exact same David Singh who was Wall Street
Je$u$ in Vieux Fort was running a tax shelter, I mean, charity, where you could
claim you made a thousand dollar donation and get a tax credit for all or more
than you donated. And then, to put icing on the cake, a philanthropic trust in
Vieux for would send you a tax receipt for a $6000 donation of medical supplies
which entitled you to an extra $2600 tax credit by the unsuspecting Canadian
Revenue Agency.
A Vieux Fort
philanthropic trust? I mean, really?
Literally.
Sweet.
I mean, why
didn’t we think of that ourselves? Here we are trying to grow actual food out
of the actual ground when we could make millions by misreporting our charity to
the Canadian government. What a waste of time we are. What a bunch of
Negmarron.
Canada.com
also reported that Singh was the kind of maverick who got in so much trouble
with securities regulators that in 2000 he was banned for five years in Ontario
and British Columbia – which is basically everywhere in Canada they speak
English and have financial markets at the same time.
Just the
kind of guy you want to go to bed with…after smoking way too much crack…
The more we smoke, the sexier Singh gets!
Hold on for a sec. He's still not sexy enough.
Lemme get some more crack...
Richaaaard!!!!
The CRA
concluded that Singh’s Destiny Group alone had passed off a little over a
hundred grand in medical supplies as almost three and a half million dollars in
purchases/donations. No, wait. New info
says it was $13 million. Wait, this just in, it was $42m…just now….
It seems
three and a half mil was chump change to the maverick David Singh.
By April
2010, the Toronto Star reported that Singh had issued more than $131 million in
charitable receipts in 2005 and 2006. But only a small portion of that was
collected and most of it disappeared in fees to companies Singh headed or
owned.
By this
time, Financial Fortune Corp. and Infinity Mutual were no longer hiring 700
agents. He had to sell those after being disciplined repeatedly by the Ontario
Securities Commission. By that time, he was operating pay-day-loan transfers,
money transfer companies and ‘raising funds for a medical school in St Lucia.’
Oooooh…so
that’s what Ed Harris was talking about…offshore financial services, indeed.
Singh claims
that most of the money, 40% went to pay agents’ fees. Cathy Hawara of the
charities directorate had a different opinion: “…all of the actual cash
received (was) diverted into the hands of the promoters and related companies…”
For what?
“Tax
shelters.”
Bitch. Thinks
she’s fucking Scooby Doo. She coulda got a cut. Her loss.
But what
does that mean about St Lucia? Did we take a cut? How big was our cut? Did we
collect? What did we spend it on? Is there any left?
Are there
notes in a law enforcement agency somewhere that say Vieux Fort’s university
town has been infected by tax shelter scams? Does Kenny know about this?
Face palm. What
am I saying? Of course he does. He’s not stupid. Kenny is super, super bright.
He knows EVERYTHING.
Kenny knows
how far this goes. And it goes way beyond what was reported in the Canadian
media.
The brightest boy in the south.
He knows EVERYTHING!!!
THE VIEUX
FORT UNIVERSITY INTERNATIONAL TAX SHELTER PROJECT
THE WILD
WEST OF WHITE COLLAR CRIME
Okay, I know
it sounds bad. It sounds like all the universities in Vieux Fort and maybe even
those in the north of the island might be using us as a shelter for their dirty
little tax shelter faggotry.
I know you’re
thinking, before these tax shelter motherfuckers come and check us, they need
to either pay a better minimum wage in their country or they need to pay their fucking
taxes so their underpaid poor have proper social support in return for their
slavery. I mean, servitude. Nah. I meant, slavery. I really did.
But that’s
not completely fair.
I know you
don’t care, right now. You’re thinking, if we’re going to scam the Canadian
government, why don’t we do it ourselves with a certain amount of class and
tropical flare, instead of letting the world’s worst con artists ruin our
reputations AND bag the loot?
I mean, why
should David Singh get rich when we can sully St Lucia’s good name ourselves?
We don’t need help to ensure that people all over the world know the advantages
of choosing St Lucia when you want to do some financial gymnastics that might
(WILL!) be considered unethical (ILLEGAL!) behavior in places where there is a far
better pretense of being civilized.
We could
turn that into a tourism marketing tool.
Nothing says
COME TO ST LUCIA like tax fraud.
Don’t you
love it?
IN THE
MEANTIME…
While we’re
improving our tax fraud kung fu, we’re going to need some cash. Lucky for us,
there are other medical schools in Vieux Fort that we can use to ‘raise money
for charity’. A quick financial forensic audit should provide us with enough
information to determine whether these other medical schools and universities
are doing enough to promote Vieux Fort as the new Wild West of White Collar
Crime, or whether they need some government assistance in the matter.
No doubt,
both Flambeau and Labour and all the ass-kissing lawyers and consultants in St
Lucia have gone out of their way in the past to meet David Singh’s needs. Having
gotten all that free press in Canada, St Lucia is now in a position to position
Vieux Fort as the ultimate destination for people who are spending other people’s
money.
Improving
the white collar criminal hub in the south not only diversifies the criminal
economy of St Lucia, it also makes more lawyers move away from Castries, which
will do a lot to decrease the city’s population of rats.
As for David
Singh: He has contributed so much to the reputation, well-being and economy of
St Lucia. He has kept St Lucia in the Canadian national news for years. I think
it’s only fair to repay the man in kind for all his selfless good service and
free publicity.
How about we
sue this guy for damages? Sue him until he buys a boat on the Essequibo that
only goes one way. Sue him for the
negative effects of his financial faggotry on the good name of our nation. Sue him
until…
What’s that...?
We colluded
with him to damage our ‘good name...?’
Which ones of us? Can we sue them too? I’m
willing to go all Grynberg on these bitches if I think we might get a couple
million out of it. Times are tough, pal. It’s kill or be killed out there. And
this guy made a killing on us. It’s only fair that we should hunt him down and
feast on his financial flesh.
In fact,
cannibalizing him might be the only just thing to do.
Otherwise,
we might send the signal that we are the kind of people who tolerate this kind
of professional kakalakery.
What’s that?
Too late? We already sent that signal through two successive
parties/governments. Sigh.
Gimme a few
minutes to think about my reply.
In the
meantime, is it just me or do we need to do something about that smell?
I mean, it’s
white collar crime. You’d think it smelled like paper, air conditioned cigar
smoke, fabric softener and good whiskey.
Instead, it
smells like…
What the
hell is that smell…?
"Yes, it's true
It's not just you
I smell it too..."