The FLOGG BLOG: HOW JIMMY FLETCHER AND SOLID WASTE GAVE YOU CHIKUNGUNYA

GOV’T BOUGHT MILLION DOLLAR SHREDDER INSTEAD OF MAKING MILLIONS SELLING TIRES TO TRINIDAD

Is Sustainable Development Minister Jimmy Fletcher TRYING to kill us?

He has used tires on his face. Around his waist. Everywhere.

How is that sustainable?

See those million tires giving breeding to chikungunya’s mosquitoes? They’re worth millions to St Lucia. And the government knew it for years and years. And the Solid Waste Management Authority knew it, too.

They knew. And they still put us in the mess we’re in.

So why did they spend money to shred used tires instead of making money by exporting that garbage? Are they doing it on purpose? Who could possibly profit more from spending hard-earned Lucian tax dollars than from making Trinidadian trade dollars?

The answer: Only the people in politics.

It’s a question that the Solid Waste Management Authority and the Minister of Talking Garbage Dr Jimmy Fletcher will need to answer at some point.

Here are some wonderfully toxic details:

Alberton Richelieu, Jr is a young St Lucian entrepreneur who has made almost all his success by making use of other people’s garbage. Used metals, old batteries, Albi can sell it all.

Albi Richelieu, Jr, Young entrepreneur

Screwed over by his own government for no good reason

A few years ago, he got in contact with some Trinidadians who needed radial steel the way zombies need crack. They would pay for all the used tires in St Lucia is someone, anyone, would just collect them all and put them on a boat to Trinidad.

Albi wrote to Solid Waste management with a proposal. He thought it was a done deal because, seriously, who turns down an offer to get paid for the garbage they didn’t want?

Months passed. No reply.

He wrote another letter begging for more speedy consideration. Not only were used tires a health hazard, time is money and the delays were costing St Lucia its garbage dividend. No reply.

He wrote another letter, trying different tactics to persuade Solid Waste Management to answer him whether it was yes or no.

They replied.

They had considered his proposal, but they had decided on a ‘better’ idea. Instead of making millions of used tires, they would spend millions on it and still be left with tons of toxic waste.

Solid Waste Management and Dr. Jimmy Fletcher, in their infinite wisdom saw it fit to buy a $1.2m shredder which would need paid labour and would leave tons and tons of shredded waste on the island.

How anyone with a brain couldn’t see that this was a far better idea than selling the tires to Trinidad, making millions and NOT GETTING CHICKUNGUNYA, is still a mystery to Dr Jimmy.

Of course, the shredder broke down. And no one here knows how to fix it. (Because, of course, Solid Waste and Dr Jimmy do everything with foresight and planning. They make sure that they are prepared for NOTHING that could possible happen.)

But that’s all water in the tires now, isn’t it? Let the past be the past and let’s move on.

You would think that now, the government and the Solid Waste Management Authority would find Albi Richelieu’s number and revive the idea of selling used tires to Trinidad.

But nooooo…..they have a better idea.

Which is basically the same idea they had the last time. Fix the shredder or buy a new one.

Spend more money on a problem we should be MAKING MONEY ON.

Brilliant. Fucking genius, Jimmy Fletcher. I can’t wait for Kenny to retire so we cn make you Prime Minister of THE FARTHEST POSSIBLE PLACE FROM ST LUCIA, you useless, wasteful, pompous, overeducated brat.

Before we end, let us count the number of things that went brilliantly, wonderfully wrong, here:

1. You elected to spend money instead of making it in a bad economic time.

2. You elected to buy a machine you couldn’t fix and neglected to put the skills to maintain the useless machine on the island. Talk about great planning. That university education really paid off.

3. Your broken shredder created optimum conditions for mosquitoes to breed as they have never bred before in modern St Lucia.

4. You had no plan B for what to do if the shredder broke down for a couple of weeks. You knew that the tires were a health issue as well as a solid waste issue, but you had no co-ordination with the health ministry to mitigate things if the shredder went bad.

5. You still want to go and buy another shredder for the same shate to happen again. What’s another word for genius? I’ve used it too many times in this article.

6. Your face keeps getting fatter and fatter. You cheeks jiggle and make a ruffling sound when you speak. It’s disgusting. It reminds me of the pigs in Animal Farm. (But then, I see how appropriate that is. Flambeau might be the Jones, but the St Lucia Labour Party of the 21^st century are goddam pigs.)

In conclusion, I will avoid the cliché about how doing the same thing over to get a different result is insanity. You are not insane. You did the wrong thing with your right mind.

You are wicked. And your leadership has brought a literal plague on our island.

You and your genius prime minister need to take your genius somewhere else.

Because this genius is killing us. Literally.

That broken shredder you bought is giving us chikungunya. And you, sir, are not even halfway ready to admit the error of you ways.

Please, I beg you, sell the tires to Trinidad. Do something right. Or get the fuck out of our government and take Alva Baptiste, Leo Clarke and Yasmine Walcott with you.