THE DEVIL WEARS NADA (or The Empress Has No Clothes)

If George Bush hates black people, who does Mae Wayne hate?

 

Mode Ste Lucie.

That’s what St Lucia would have gotten instead of HOT COUTURE, if St Vincent McDoom had not flown down from Parisian fairy heaven wearing winged pink metallic Louboutin pumps to save the St Lucia Tourist Board from the vampires it calls its friends.

 

Mode Ste Lucie would have featured many things that were not present at HOT COUTURE. More foreign designers would have been featured. And models. Any local models would have to work for free since the producers were ‘giving them an opportunity.’

 

Mode Ste Lucie would have been held at Samaans Park or Sandals, instead of at the Audi Showroom. It would certainly have cost a helluva lot of more than HOT COUTURE did, but whether it was successful or not, one thing is for certain. It would not have been significant.

 

HOT COUTURE, on the other hand, was a fucking milestone.

 

HOT COUTURE was so great that it had its own follow-up scandal built in, cost-free. Talk about international standards. We are really going to the big time now.

 

HOT COUTURE did not just put St Lucia on the regional and international map for the first time ever (yes, it did – google it!). McDoom also managed to burst through the angry clouds of exploitation and free dozens of St Lucian models from their enslavement, championing their cause despite all objections from producers.

 

It sounds like a joke.

 

 

But if Mae Wayne was really in charge of HOT COUTURE (as The STAR Magazine insists that she was), then the event would have looked more like SHE Magazine – printed perfectly, but too expensive, hardly any sign of Lucian models and not a chance of being profitable, ever! In all of the organizations that Wayne manages, Lucians are stereotyped as lazy and uncreative and foreigners are being overpaid to have the same Lucians teach them how to do the work that the Lucian could have done in the first place.

 

Wayne proved her foreign bias with the cover of last weekend’s STAR. Even the foreign-based models on the cover said that they would have preferred for Lucian models dressed in Lucian designs would have been on the cover. But Wayne’s standards are such that regular Lucians aren’t good enough to grace the cover of St Lucia’s fourth worst selling newspaper.

 

Lucky for the Lucian models and designers, McDoom remembers that he was once one of them – a kid from La Clery who needed some training and an opportunity to prove himself. The St Lucia Tourist Board only wanted to exploit his celebrity, but he brought so much more than that. He brought a confidence in local talent that Tourist Board has never encountered before.

 

And he proved from the start, that while Mae Wayne’s dick might be bigger than Adrian Augier’s, Vincent McDoom’s dick is bigger than them all.

 

On the eve of the Coco Palm press conference where McDoom is expected to tear open a new anal cavity for Wayne, the empress still imagines that HOT COUTURE was the biggest thing to ever happen to Vincent. It is certainly the biggest thing to happen to her in a long time. What she doesn’t realize is that to McDoom, this isn’t even a show. This is charity. It’s patriotism. It’s the revenge of an abused little boy on behalf of exploited young people everywhere.

 

He’s not just going to let her take HOT COUTURE away. Especially not when he’s not just the only fashion expert in the place, but also the little boy who is brave enough to say that the Empress has no clothes.