Tuesday, 3 June 2014



(On the occasion of independently confirmed reports of corruption and visa fraud at the highest level of diplomatic service, I am trying to get in touch with the head of the St Lucia Mission in Martinique. Not being able to reach her directly, I must now send this open letter in the hopes that it will reach her.  I ask everyone who is not Yasmin Walcott to assist it me by trying to forward this to her. However, I must beg you all NOT TO READ THIS as it contains national secrets known only to the Prime Minister, the foreign affairs minister and the culprit. Thank You. And goodbye, everyone…except Yasmin, of course.)

Dear Ms. Walcott,
                I wish that it were pleasure that precipitated our first correspondence, as your presence alone has always,  since primary school been enough to make me smile.
        Unfortunately, it is not pleasure but deep concern about the corruption at the public service and weakness and compromise in the political leadership.
        It has recently come to our attention that a highly placed individual at the Mission you head is SELLING ST LUCIA VISAS to Haitians and all other comers who want to use St Lucia as a gateway to…whatever…who knows what these people are going through when they decide to commit fraud to escape the horror of their ordinary lives.
        It seems this highly placed individual was approving visas sold through a pastor or preacher or snake oil salesman or something. There are more details but you should probably be able to get them yourself since you are much closer to the action than anyone else.
        I am sure you are offended that someone would use the high office and privilege of serving St Lucia for such nefarious and base causes, especially since it happened right under your nose.
        I am depending on you to investigate this matter as I do not think I can rely on the Prime Minister or the foreign affairs minister to act judiciously in the matter. Both of them know what’s up and neither of them are doing anything about it. In fact, the Prime Minister was in Martinique last weekend and he left the impression that he couldn’t do anything until he went home and kissed Alva’s butt and tribute to the gods of the People’s Republic of Maji.
         As for Alva, in his quest to be king, his hubris is leading him to believe that the best course of action is to slap the culprit on the wrist and leave them in place, hoping things will get better.
          Thank you for your time and your honest, dedicated service.

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