THE MANY FACES OF GUY JOSEPH

WHERE, O WHERE IS THAT DANGEROUS SMILE?

Conscientious political junkies would have noticed that of late, the man with The Most Dangeorus Smile In Politics isn't smiling as much as he used to anymore.

Could it be the results of the report on mis-spending in the town and village councils during Joseph turn in Cabinet? Nah. Joseph considers the report bullshit, stopping short only of pulling out his penis and peeing on it to show Kenny Anthony what he thinks of all the bluster that accompanied that botched investigation.

Could it be the results of Flambeau's new leadership? Probably not. Guy Joseph was probably one of the few Flambeaus who would have been kept close no matter who won Flambeau's leadership in the King/Chastanet contest.

Could it be the effect of climate change on the 2013 apple harvest? Now why would Guy Joseph worry about such a thing? It's not like he has an apple farm somewhere. That's like saying he stashed hurricane relief supplies fr his own profit and manipulated government contracts to suit his own personal ends. Ridiculous.

This is the man who invented the winning slogan 'Cost Overruns.'

This is the man who made complex government finances into matters of common bus driver sense.

This is the man who....

Who just isn't smiling as much as he used to? The FLOGG went in search of the Guy Joseph Dangerous Smile last Wednesday at Parliament. What a mess we found.

You can see the smile, the relish for politics....

Even as he is accusing Kenny Anthony of things that he is guilty of in more creative ways, he grins

And then it fades....the eternal smile that spelled danger to all his enemies fades...

And in it's place, a frown. A heavy brow. Tell tale signs of war weariness. Are you getting tired of the game, pumpkin?

Are you going to cry? Are you going to poop? Are you going to need a laxative

And then, it's back. That smile. But only on one side of your face. One side.

The smile is back and at the same time you look like you're holding back diarrhea. (Which explains much of what proceedeth forth from thine mouth.)

NNNNNnnnn! Uuuuhhhh! Push, Guy, push!

Uh oh. Think we had more success than we intended. Shit. No pun intended.

FLAMBEAU RALLY PICTORIAL AUG 2013

They came. They talked. They think they're going to conquer.

Flambeau hasn't done a single thing to make anyone think they'll be better than they were in 2006-11,  but that's okay,because for the first time since before the death of Sir John Compton, Flambeaus actually feel good. Why? Because for some reason no one understands, Labour is scared.

Random sexy girl. Flambeau used to have many more of them in Compton's time. Things have changed.

Something about something blahblah, no one remembers

Not smiling. Sleepy actually. Must have been a rough Saturday night on the apple farm

Doof and Nancy: Cheerleaders in chief (One lost already and the other will lose for sure. But they're nice people. And at least one of them is good looking.)

Essiay, it's like Flambeaus are multiplying asexually. Which would explain their level of intelligence.

The gathering storm...and Stan, watching his back, wishing he didn't wear a red cap

Linus' guitar - the prettiest, truest thing on Flambeau's stage.

Why is the media in love with this woman? What's that? It's not love, it's lust? I don't see how that makes it better.

Guess which three people in this photo did not have a choice about being here.

Flambeau veteran thinking about the future. (By the way,the future is in the other direction, sir. With all due respect.)

Two out of  three Mondesirs like are falling for the Chastanet effect. The other one is irrelevant. His own brother had to sabotage him for the sake of family honor.

He wrote the death announcement,  but he has neither the death certificate nor the death sentence. Typical Flambeau. (In all seriousness, though, that was brilliant Ol Mas, bro. But watch your back. Twa Ti Nay, the Shaolin Master of Ol Mas, is coming for you.)

Two are watching the camera, one is selling cake another on facebook, this one guy clapping and everyone else talking about how much Kenny is afraid of Chastanet.

He ain't no John Compton, but he's learning to bowl like Flambeau's Darren Sammy.

Most importantly, he stuck to the script and kept his feet out of his mouth

Former Press Secretary Darnley Labourne: Is he still crying for King? Or maybe he's cursing God for making Jada Jn Pierre sexier than him. Or maybe he's wishing he was still a respected conservationist. Or maybe he's just tired from being Flambeau's workhorse.

Random sexy Flambeau girl Number 2. Aa, oui, Bon dieux, a big woman that there, ee....

A party that all St Lucians could vote for right now. This country band rocks.

A leader I could actually vote for. This guy should be a big star. But he was born in St Lucia, so he's just Linus The Best Country Singer in A 2000 Mile Radius.

'THE NEXT ELECTION IS OURS TO WIN OR LOSE.'

'THE BALL IS IN OUR COURT," SAY FLAMBEAUS.

At first, it looked bad.

As Jada Jn Pierre noted photographically on her facebook post, there was more space than people at the party Flambeau held last Sunday in Prime Minister Kenny Anthony territory.

Sitting on the sidelines, waiting for the Messiah

This does NOT look like a party

They looked tired and it was still mid-afternoon.

The platform was so boring that most people entertained and motivated each other with their own conversations. The buzz was so loud that I could barely hear what Arsene James said about the Choiseul  Secondary School needing to be demolished, but reopening this school year as though everything was okay.

Guy Joseph said something about integrity (lol) taunting Labour about their failure to do anything meaningful with their bullshit Town and Village Councils Report on possible corruption by the former adminstration.

Omg! The Integrity...the Principles...it's too much

Then, suddenly, there were people everywhere Spider was sweating like a damned preacher in heat riling up the crowd. Hmmm...how did that happen? How did Flambeau creep up like that?

The buzz in the audience had finally infected the platform. Leaders repeated what I had heard from the crowd during the afternoon warm up performances. Something about $70m from Taiwanese President Ma and a Special Account at BOSL instead of the Consolidated Fund. Something about the cops. Something about the economic state of the country. You know, the same bullshit Labour says about them.

Holy Crap, Custer! Where did all them Injuns come from?

But....

Morale is high in Flmabeau right now. They think that the SLP  government is screwing up and knows they're screwing up. They think that with their new poster boy at the helm,  they can pose as a whole new Flambeau, which of course is the good ol' Flambeau - in fact, it's any Flambeau except the 2006-11 Flambeau, which is exactly what most of them really are.



"We ready, yeah, we ready," they sang Bunji Gallin style, taunting Labour to call elections anytime they pleased, because they were so sure that they were ahead on points.

In truth and in fact, they are not. They have a lot of work to do to clean up the mess they became. Memory is not so short that the world will forgive and forget already. But they are, in fact, on the upswing,  while Labour, truth be told, is bleeding support like a suicide victim.

He ain't no Compton, but he could be Sammy

So now,  Labour bowls questions at Chastanet and looks like they are afraid of a man whom they would like everyone to think is not serious. And when Flambeau bowls,  they're on the offensive, looking to take wickets. Even Chastanet's accent and speech writing have improved considerably. The coaching team at Flambeau HQ, at least, seems to be working. He may not be their John Compton, but he could be their Darren Sammy. In these times when a political leader must care about winning waaay more than he cares about governing and growing, that should be enough.

And near the end of his speech, he nailed the truth as he has never done before in his life.

"Labour didn't win the last elections," he said. "UWP lost them."

It's almost like he was reading The FLOGG. If he is, Labour's in trouble, because this blog is a goldmine of political truth, that if taken seriously by those in power, could tune politicians to the reality of ordinary St Lucians as no one has been since John Compton lay down in front of a tractor in nineteen fifty whatever.

LABOUR DEFENDA FLOGS THE FLOGG

 EVEN WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE WICKED!

by Labour Defenda

“A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.”
― William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

Jason Sifflet, I didn’t believe you at first, but it seems that you are telling the truth. The Iranians are mining for uranium in Bolivia. The whole ALBA scenario is not just a socialist comeback, it’s a front for Iranian expansionism. It’s not hard to research the facts of this matter and to make sense of nonsense.

But the way  you attacked the Labour Government shows that you  have bad intentions for them. I have tracked the progress of your FLOGG. From the very beginning, it was clear that you thought that Flambeau was ridiculous and so deserved nothing but ridicule. It seemed that you were merely a very entertaining Labour hack posing as an independent blogger. But since then, you have found reason to criticize Kenny Anthony and have given him flogging after flogging in the last few weeks.

The pattern suggests you have a new found motivation for attacking Kenny in particular and Labour in general. You will have to answer this question sooner or later, so having asked the question, I will leave it on your doorstep.

I will say this, however: Either you are really an independent thinker, or you are  the most mercenary journalist in the history of St Lucia – and that’s including George Odlum and  Rick Wayne.

“It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

It’s hard as a Labour supporter to admit that some of the things you write with such malice aforethought  are, in fact,  true. You give no attribution and no substantiation for the crazy things you say, but I can’t help but notice that they turn out to be true. Few people outside of Flambeau’s inner circles saw Chastanet’s landslide victory coming and you also reported the ‘blacklisted cops affair’ weeks before the Commissioner got booted off a plane. 

It is even harder to admit that Kenny and company are impotent when it comes to the economy and hopeless when it comes to foreign relations.

However,  you fail to take into context that these are difficult times for everyone. The mighty United States is confused about what exactly they should do in the Middle East. The Chinese Communist Party is showing signs of strain never seen before. Europe doesn’t know whether it’s coming or going. And the Bolivarians seem confused as to whether they are socialist or just plain anti-American. The certainties of the 20^th century have passed away and in their place are no clear answers.

But you act as though Kenny Anthony should have the answers easily. Furthermore,  you seemed poised to attack him no matter what he does. If he admits that he doesn’t have all the answers,  you have a FLOGG for that. If he comes out with a set of solutions, you have a FLOGG for that. It is almost as though you have written Kenny Anthony’s FLOGGs way in advance. I can’t help but notice that you replied to the Prime Minister’s televised address this week in less than two hours – and I saw you talking to some people by a bar after the PM’s address for at least half an hour.

You want me to believe that you didn't write  at least parts of that critique bforehand? Please...

What do you expect Kenny to do? Come out and admit that this job is stressing him out that St Lucia is in a tailspin? You want him to come out and put the country in a panic about the situation we’re in? You want him to confess all the misdeeds of his youth as well, Jason Sifflet? You would like that, wouldn’t you,  for him to tell you all the dirty details? But that’s not realistic. A man under pressure with enemies all around him is bound to circle the wagons. And that’s what Labour is doing right now, with good reason.

Furthermore,  this is politics where all things are relative. Tell me, Jason Sifflet, do you really prefer the prospect of a Chastanet prime ministership to that which exists today? It’s a rhetorical question. I know you are an intelligent person. I was just  making a point to show that you are attacking your best hope of defending yourself from the worst thing you can imagine.

“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

I enjoy The FLOGG. I sense that you have advantages that other reporters don’t have,  because you are not bound by the same rules and you don’t have to answer to anyone. I like your style of writing and your insistence on humour, no matter what the subject is.

But I also sense that you while you want to project the image of someone who wants to build a better nation,  you are, in fact, attacking and breaking things down. Right now, you are on a dangerous track of attacking both major political parties at the same time. Theoretically,  this means that you probably have no friends,  at least none with any clout.

This might seem fine to you now.

But I am sure there are people who have advised you that while truth and controversy are good for the soul, compromise and pragmatism are good for everything else. You have to be able to get along better than that. You are provoking and upsetting an entire class of people who are accustomed of holding power or being the official challengers of power. What you are doing undermines both the holders of power and the challengers.

Don’t lie to yourself, Mr Sifflet, you don’t want to get into that situation. Respect for the truth includes knowing which truths can be told, which truths should be told and which truths need a better way to be told before anyone can tell them.

I fear that you will soon find yourself in the unenviable position of having both rival major parties allied against you and your FLOGG. And that would be a shame, because there ain’t nothing to read in the newspapers but the classified ads.

WHY WE SHOULDN’T LEGALIZE GANJA

Be not afraid.  Legalization won't turn your little white boys into Rastas

Let’s get something out of the way. There is no good reason for anyone to go to jail for growing, selling, buying, possessing or smoking ganja. It’s a ridiculous waste of human capital.

Having said that, there are plenty of good reasons for not legalizing it.

Most people who fear the day ganja is legalized like to think that nations will descend into orgies of cannabis consumption, paralyzing populaces and production.  Needless to say, everyone who wants to smoke weed does so regardless of the law and everyone who doesn’t want to smoke weed is not going to do it just because it’s legal.  See alcohol prohibition.

Anyone who fears the proliferation of pot propagation in the islands of the Eastern Caribbean only need to consider that there is only one serious marijuana producing nation among us and that’s not because its leaders tacitly support it. It’s because St Vincent is just better suited, topographically, to ganja planting and the rest of the island can’t compete.

The legalization of marijuana could not, by any reasonable stretch, amount to the drugging up of nations.

However, there are dangerous side effects to legalization that everyone, especially growers, vendors and cannabis consumers need to consider.

Be very afraid. Legalization could bring business into  ganja and kick the small timers out

Think about this: If ganja is legalized and everyone, including big business can get in on the game, the small timers will get screwed big time. Right now, marijuana is a small timers industry. Small farmers,  small distributors, small consumers. There are no million dollar deals in the small island marijuana trade. A ten thousand dollar deal, considered chump change in the cocaine world, is a very big deal in Ganjaville.

Legalization would probably wipe out the small timers and end with mutli-national tobacco companies selling processed ganja in golden packets of pre-rolled,  filtered ‘cigarettes. Which, of course, would defeat the entire advantage of the ganja trade – which is that it’s a bunch of small timers circulating quite a bit of cash in relatively small transactions on a very regular basis.

Don't you guys have anything better to do?

Marijuana revenues are also free from licensing and other taxes. The growing and distribution of marijuana is beyond regulation and so benefits from not having any regulatory administrative fees attached to the price of a five bag. Legalization would add unforeseen costs to five bags. And as everyone knows, five bags don’t get more expensive. They get smaller.  Anyone who knows what a Gros Islet five bag looks like will agree that five bags should NOT, under any circumstances, get smaller.

Now, it might seem that with a little bit of creative price gouging, like what merchants did to consumers, post-VAT, there would be more profits to be made from marijuana.

But by the laws of supply and demand, as well as the thing about purchasing parity and advantages of scale,  legalization would result in reduced profit margins for planters, growers and vendors, while at the same time, smokers would be getting smaller five bags. Not cool. Not cool at all.

Because there would be excellent revenues to be made on the medical marijuana end, regulation and licensing of the marijuana trade would inevitably result in the introduction of political corruption into ganja business. This, of course, would further reduce profit margins and lead to people with political power hoarding licenses for their friends, associates and pothead sons.

In conclusion, Eastern Caribbean ganja-philes don’t want legalization. The only thing worse than legalization is persecution. What is really needed is decriminalization, special dispensations for growing hemp and medical marijuana, for cops to be working hard on higher priorities and for the US Department of State and the DEA to smoke a fucking joint and cool out themselves.

CHAS WON'T LAST, BUT HE'S NOT LABOUR'S BIGGEST PROBLEM

"Of course I believe in you. You're the new John Compton," said the most equivocal man in St Lucia to the new Flambeau leader.

Flambeaus big and small are pretending that Allen Chastanet is the new John Compton.

They praise his vision for tourism even though he offers nothing but the willingness to bend over backwards for all investors, conceding to them things that should never be conceded. They praise him even though what he really stands for is the exact opposite of what they need. For example, the owners of  Soufriere’s best eco-tourism heritage resort  imagine that Chastanet’s dreams of Miami-style mega-tourism will somehow redound to their  benefit. Sad. It won’t. They’re not on his radar at all. They're political points in his book.

But the party is pretending he is the new John Compton anyway.  Partly, it is because Flambeau has never been a team, just a bunch of followers behind a leader. They have only just learned the danger of not having a team in place who can disconnect a bad leader from his power base.

Partly, they are trying to scare Labour into thinking that Allen Chastanet is more than he really is.  It’s working.  Soon after Chastanet and the new team swept into the executive, swatting King and his lieutenants like flies and wiping them from the face of Flambeau’s power circles, the ruling party went into panic mode.

Labour called an emergency meeting of its heads.

Labour leaders: What a bunch of babies!

They wailed. They gnashed teeth. They clawed and bit at each other and quarreled and pined and whimpered, thinking that this was somehow an equalizer that put Flambeau back in competition. Labour, it seems, is buying into the myth of Allen Chastanet more than Flambeaus themselves.

Stop your damned crying! Chas won't last!

Flambeaus in the know already know  that Chastanet is not in charge of Flambeau.  Flambeau is in charge of him. Flambeau has to keep Mr Foot In Mouth on a tight leash if they hope to successfully achieve the remaking of their party, after the wanton self-destruction of the 2006-11 government. In a way,  this bodes well for the emergent new Flambeau.

The inmates who run Flambeau's asylum

They are, for the first time, a true party, where the sum of the followers is greater than the executive and the sum of the executive is greater than the leader. Both the peasants and the snobs of Flambeau were fairly well organized against Stephenson King and company before they let Allen Chastanet know that he was the front man for their new boy band.

Some Flambeaus seem to have hope that he might actually amount to something. After all, Kenny Anthony was nothing to speak of in 1996,  but within a year had morphed into  a platform giant. The rest of Flambeau doesn’t even care who is political leader as long as they keep Richard Frederick and friends as far away from the power center of the party as possible.

Now that a new executive is in place and they have made some distance from the most disturbing thing in their party. Now they have to do some specialized political surgery to excise the most dangerous cancer from their party.

Their problem is that this surgery may take a bite out of Allen Chastanet in the end. After all, he was part of the 2006-11 government. And he was not the squeaky-cleanest one.

Rare of photo of the infant Ti Chas

On top of that problem, TiChas will make it even easier to get rid of him, by putting his foot in his mouth in a very public way at regular intervals. His father, Michael, while known as a very practical man, who  despite his  reservations,  will not be caught not supporting his son’s greatest venture,  will make things even worse, will only help TiChads’ demise. Michael can be counted on to, on occasion,  put his foot in Allen’s mouth.

As  Allen grows more impervious to public outrage and ridicule  of his gaffs, he will probably venture to put his foot in Michael’s mouth, whereupon Michael will probably put his own foot in his  own mouth,  completing the Chastanet family tradition.

It is not  the Chastanet’s fault that they are so predisposed. It’s a genetic condition.

Don’t judge. But don’t worry about facing an election against him either.  It’s a waste  of  energy.

Regardless of when Labour calls the next election, Allen will turn out to be a loser. The only scenario in which TiChas wins a seat in parliament is if he escapes his own mouth and furthermore, successfully presses for the splitting of the Gros  Islet seat and gets  the bourgeois side to himself. In commercial and suburban Gros Islet, kweyol is not necessary, white people are as common a black people and just about everyone has foot in mouth disease.

Apart from that, he’ll lose any election he contests. You can tell by the way he is avoiding any by-election at present. And furthermore,  TiChas may not even make it to the next general election. The Flambeau team wants a winner. They want a leader. Not just a new horse to pull the cart. Not just a janitor to do clean up  after King.

And that’s exactly what TiChas is to them.  The janitor.

Flambeau may be a better team than ever. But the truth is that Flambeau is still looking out for a leader.

More importantly, given the problems on both the domestic and international relations fronts, Labour’s biggest problem isn’t TiChas.

I am not your biggest problem. YOU are!