THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN THE CARIBBEAN

SKINNY HERBS vs THE CREATURE

MORE VISCIOUS FICTIONS THAT PUT THE TRUTH TO SHAME
All characters and events depicted herein are obviously fictitious. Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental. 

1.      TYRANTS ARE ALL THE SAME

Castries.

Tuesday.

Just up the road from The Creatures lair.

Skinny Herbs knew he should not be standing on the corner this long. The Creature’s Wolves were looking for him. But there he was when the off duty SSU officer pulled up. A familiar face revealed as one of The Wolves. He sighed. It was inevitable, anyway. This was what was supposed to happen.

"Skiiiiiinnny, I've been looking for you..."

“Skinny,” he said, “I’ve been looking for you since last night.”

“No, not you, too,” sighed Skinny searching the cop’s eyes for complicity and conscience. But the motherfucker had lost his conscience a long, long time ago. He had already given his soul the Creature.

“Just doing my job, bro,” the wolf said.

“That’s what they all say,” Skinny replied. “That’s why we’re where we are today.”

“Got any herbs?” the wolf ventured.

“You can’t smoke me today, Wolfie. Only I can smoke me now.”

Skinny took the letter and walked off before the wolf could reply. Skinny held on to the letter like it was a Pulitzer or something. He cherished it. He wanted to kiss it and make love to it and make copies of it and give to all his friends. The paper was soft and thick. Classy stuff. Skinny imagined caressing his hemorrhoids with it. He made a note to himself to get someone to steal some of those letterheads for him, just for the days when he had to choose between toilet paper and cigarettes at the supermarket.

But he knew that he would have to destroy it in the most public fashion. Symbolic shit. Sympathetic magic. He would have to rip it up in front of television cameras in order to ignite a viral courage that set fire to the hearts of good men. Raising a secret army awakening the spirit of the old Neg warriors. Already, these strangers were saving Skinny’s life, one little bit at a time.

The letter said that The Creature’s sister was asking for an apology, a retraction and for all the damning and offensive fictional facts Skinny wrote to be taken down from the blog. Fat chance, Skinny thought. That ship has sailed. And burned. And sunk. Now The Creature did exactly as Skinny thought he would do.

Just like Mr Creedy in V.

Tyrants are all the same. No variation between them.

NEXT: Excessive And Supernatural Force