RICH POLITICIANS PREFER TO FON ST LUCIA
THAN INVEST THEIR OWN MONEY IN THE ISLAND
"Brother, can you spare a mil?"
The Millionaire MPees Club
(There's some upper middle class trash, but that can't be avoided)
You mean to tell me between all the rich and upper middle class people in parliament, they chip in and pass $3 million to help create jobs for Lucian youth?
On Monday, August 12th, the Kenny Anthony government dragged its sorry ass and the corpse of the opposition United Workers Party to parliament to borrow $3m and nothing else. For what? To subsidize cruise ships that employ Lucians. Facepalm.
And the headless opposition did the only thing they know how to do: They whined about it, as though they have better ideas. Clearly, at least half of the bullshit we face is their fault. Not to mention that they personally have more money than anyone in Labour, with the possible exception of Leo Clarke. And how did they get so rich while in government? By boldfaced bastardry.
What are these tiny, worthless men even debating?
Between the top five ranking members of Parliament, they could put $3m together to loan the country interest-free. And that’s not even counting what Richard Frederick could do, if he stopped pretending he didn’t have a secret stash that hasn’t been put on ice.
Millionaire and suspected millionaire
If they care so much about debts and interest rates, why don’t they just give back some of the money they ‘made’ in office? That would certainly block some holes.
But they’re not going to do that, are they?
“That’s not the way things are done,” they will cry. “It’s not the sound way to build an economy.”
Of course not. The sound way to build an economy is to line the pockets of all your friends who will kick back to you in some smart-assed way. Oh. And also, you can rip off the Taiwanese for tens of millions. Unless, you’re Labour, in which case, you fucked up when you attacked Tom Chou and UWP in the same sentence.
Bastards. Between Labour and Flambeau, neither is better than the other. One is just worse.
Between the Devil and the deep blue sea, The FLOGG desperately searched history for potential solutions to this catch-22. I think we may have found something.
ROMAN GANGSTA SOCIO-ECONOMIC FINANCING
In ancient Rome and to a large extent the subsequent northern European kingdoms, corruption was a given. It’s human nature to accept a gift in return for a favor. In Asia, it still considered impolite and ungracious not to show your gratitude.
In spite of the fact that there was no running water or decent toilet paper for anyone in ancient Rome, corrupt officials made a habit of spending the fruits of corruption on the people who were their political base. No shit. If they didn’t, someone would make them. After all, politicians had to show gratitude, too, for the favor the people showed unto their slimy asses.
Multi-millionaire, No.1 Cocksman in St Lucia
And so, when the people suffered, rich men like JC (Julius Caesar, not John Compton) would use their personal wealth to buy up grain so they could free up the bread. Alternatively, powerful men would liberate the properties of their political opposition by means of some polite and gentlemanly bloodshed, causing a redistribution of wealth that caused many middle class people to become rich and many working class people to become middle class.
The Money Boys...Bleeding Hennessey since 1995
Most interesting, especially in this case, was the power of an emperor or consul to leverage his, um, military capabilities to cause the richest people to provide loans to the state, to reduce prices and even to totally bear the cost and management of capital projects like aqueducts.
The standard procedure went like this:
Caesar Skypes Marcus Tiberius Gracchus or whoever the Michael Chastanet of the time was: “Yo, Gracchus. Sup, nigga!”
Gracchus: “Fuck you want?”
Caesar: “Aqueducts, bitch.”
Pause. Tiny clicks and beeps as NSA and FSB check their equipment they haven’t lost the connection. Then:
Gracchus: “Whatever, nigga!” Which means “Yes” in ancient gangsta.
Caesar: “That’s right, bitch! And don’t you ever call me nigga again, nigga! I will come over there and break your fingers so you can’t trouble the little boys’ booties no more.”
Gracchus: “Thank you, my liege.”
Caesar: “No, sir. Thank you for your co-operation is this most urgent socio-economic matter. Rome is eternally grateful.”
Gracchus: “The privilege is mine. I am humbled by the honor.”
Caesar: “Good day, Senator.”
Gracchus: “Hail Caesar.”
Caesar: “And give my regards to your bitc…I mean, your lovely wife and daughter.”
Gracchus: “I’m certain that Caesar will soon find occasion to show them his own, um, regards, in person.”
Caesar: “You done know! Caesar out!”
Now, that’s a little bit gangster for the 21st century. But still, you can see how it’s a helluva lot better than the African Republic bullshit that St Lucian politicians are passing off as St Lucian democracy these days.
St Lucian doesn’t have the billions of sistersii that ancient Rome had. But still, the members of parliament make quite a few million dollars a year on the backs of the people of St Lucia. Not to mention that between the 17 plus nine of them in the Lower and Upper House, these motherfuckers must be worth $50 million or more.
Why are we borrowing $3 million from a bank when there are rich men like Kenny Anthony, Richard Frederick, Guy Joseph, Alva Baptiste, Peter Foster and Jimmy Fletcher in parliament?
We’ve paid their bills for ages and made all their friends, including Allen Chastanet, wealthier than they could ever be on their own.
Why won’t these motherfuckers give their country some money?