Monday, 25 August 2014


Primus inter Pompous

Boy, you think Tourist Board staff taking that so?

Lorne tried to shove a gag order down their throat to kill any further investigation into the nasty state of Tourist Board's spending.

So, in return, they took his gag order to their union.

Now, the union is determined to take the same gag order and shove it back up is Lorne's ass where it belongs.

This is proving more difficult than expected, as Lorne was born with loads of gold and silver cutlery, mostly spoons, in all of his bodily orifices, but most of it in his posterior. It is a rare condition, only suffered by people at risk of affluenza. One major side effect is that due to blockages of the posterior by the cutlery, sufferers sometimes expel feces orally.

Lorne has, in fact, suffered from severe chronic affluenza and all attempts by his parents to explain that that spoilt rich boyz ought to have the silver spoons in their mouths have come to nought.

Major excavation works to make room in Lorne's ass for his gag order are currently on pause. However, workers promise to resume work shortly on this vitally mission to shovel Lorne's shit back to where the sun don't shine.


When tourism minister Lorne Theophilus and Enabler-in-Chief Louis Lewis gagged their staff and slammed them for things that they didn't say in the FLOGG, they thought they were clamping down on leaks.

Instead, they opened a whole new can of whoop-ass on themselves.

Lorne and Louis were like a retarded Batman and Robin. They could clearly see that the FLOGG was using compiled info that staff members would probably not have access to. They could tell that either someone in their own circles had betrayed them or there was something completely unforeseen at work.

But Batman and Robin came down hard on the staff anyway.

And so, the demoralized staff of the St Lucia Tourist Board, who are sick and tired of watching top staff milk the system with first class tickets and per diems they never provide receipts for, did the only reasonable thing.

They called their union.

Of course, we know that the Civil Service Union, once the most reliable political partner of the St Lucia Labour Party, is now a more effective opposition than the United Workers Party, itself, kicking government in teeth with the strength of several thousand salaried votes at a time, every chance they get.

(The SLP has returned the favour by inadvertently making Mary Isaac a national figure, either loved or hated, but never, ever ignored.)

The CSA wasted no time humbling the minister and assuring the staff that staff rules aside, they had freedom of speech and that even some of the staff rules on speech were unconstitutional.

Which kinda means that the staff are now free to blow the whistle on Lorne and Louis with impunity BECAUSE THE COUYONS TRIED TO IMPOSE A GAG ORDER.

Thank God for that.

Otherwise, how else would we know that they are trying to fire Wayne and replace him with Leo CLarke's sister.

Who's Wayne, you ask?

Just a guy at Tourist Board whose assessments are off the chart.

More importantly, he's the one who questioned why no one in Tourist Board ever provided a receipt for the per diem when they travelled.

And you know if they provided no receipt, that they definitely didn't provide any reimbursements.

But according to Timothy Poleon's midday sidekick, "That's for another show. Film at 11."

Gag order....


Let them go and persecute Wayne now, for something he had nothing to do with. As though Wayne is the one throwing away the people's money with no accountability.

Poor Wayne.

He himself is sitting there wondering what the hell I know about him and what he knows. Doh dig nothing, bro. Tell them check your phone records and whatever. You, unlike them, are not afraid of an audit. You, unlike them, have not violated any of your oaths.

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