FLAMBEAU’S LITTLE KENNEL CLUB

THE END OF THE RENEGADES

The Renegades considered themselves the top dogs of Flambeau.

Former Leader of The Opposition

The Mongrel, despite being the class clown of the former government, was proud of the fact that he won his seat and held the fort  for Flambeau when things were at their worst and he demanded (not commanded) respect. He was leader of the opposition once. No one can remember it, luckily, but he really was.

The Pitbull, well, what can you say? The Pitbull is a revolution in St Lucian politics. Never before has anyone reached so far down into St Lucia’s primal reptilian soul for political capital. The man is indestructible. Kenny keeps promising to take him down a notch, but so far, he hasn’t shown his hand. (A bluff? Or the patience of the only man who has the power to go nuclear?) And audacity? Audacity is joke.

Pet, the friendly slobbering bulldog who was the default leader, he’s spineless, yeah. But that’s his strategy. Everyone hears what they want to hear from him. But only he manages to get what he wants every time. This is a guy who went from Vaughan Lewis’ number one supporter to Compton’s right hand man. This is a guy who survived both Rufus and d’Auvergne. A better man would have been broken by the circumstances. Only a man as spineless as Pet could weather those storms.

Bully, Bully, Bulldog.

And as for Snakedog. While Pitbull is indestructible, Snakedog has the unique ability to come back from total annihilation, exactly as he was before, without reinventing himself one bit. Compton spent the last half of his political career killing Snakedog over and over again. But he just kept coming back. Snakedog has had so many political lives (not to mention, personalities and identities) that Krshna, Vishnu and Brahma were surprised to find out that he’s just a nigger. (And not even a proper nigger. One of those reddish brown ones.) Snakedog has had so many political lives, Compton thought he was a cat.

The three original renegades never liked Compton. And Compton didn’t like them back.

Once Compton was out of the way, they decided to go all George Odlum on fellaz. They convinced pretty much everyone else to abandon Pet. They convinced a long legged Doberman they would make him PM if he became their patsy. But Pet managed to abandon his own side and convince the  Renegades that if anyone was going to be their patsy it was him. And that’s how he went from being Compy’s right hand man to being the Renegade King. 

Pitbull was making Lucia wine on him like J-lo, if  UWP won the last election

Of course, this has nothing to do with the fact that Pitbull and Snakedog both want to stop each other from being PM more than they want to be PM themselves. As long as Pitbull and Snakedog are allies, neither one will be PM. And the Bulldog bulls again.

All the time they were in office, the Renegades could command the party.  Once they were out of office, Flambeaus felt their courage coming back them. Without the apparatus of office, the Super 8 Renegades crumbled. Now, with just four or five of them left, they have lost command of Compton’s Flambeau.

They thought Compton was gone. But even in death, Foxy is outwitting them and getting in the way.

Actualment, Pitbull vexed with toute monde

They also thwarted themselves by being all chiefs, no Indians. All dogs, no whisperers.

Once they lost Spider, their funeral bells were ringing. By the time Chastanet got the Poodle to run around in circles, it was nails in the coffin for the Renegades. They knew their time was up a long time ago.

They had a good run. They didn’t score many points, but they scored something…

According to the fellaz, “At least tings wuz runnin, when y’all were in power.”

Goodbye.

And now the choir will sing ‘Auld Lang Syne’

"May aaaaalll acquaintance beee forgot and blahblahblahblahblaaaaaah...." Lo rd. They don't know the words