THE ONE GOOD THING RUFUS EVER DID

LABOUR & TAIWAN’S UNLIKELY MATCHMAKER

WOOF...I mean, Rufus Bousquet...

Up in the casino, the former foreign affairs minister, just two or three floors from his former office, is boasting his exploits. He’s been up there so long, he can’t tell whether it’s day or night. Much less to care about the hounds on his trail. On the verge of a new political death, he figured, why wait for angels? Rev up the Audi and drive to heaven. It’s just upstairs Baywalk Mall. (Not to mention that heavenly chariots have no aircon, no rims, no DVD player and the sound systems are crap.)

After being highly ranked in one of two most disastrous governments in St Lucian history, Rufus Bousquet feels good. And why wouldn’t he? Your life is boring and shitty compared to his. He has a condo. Nof sexy likkle gajays. And for better or worse, a place in history. He has his own page on Wikipedia and a special place in the heart of Rickipedia. You and I, my friend will probably be forgotten, while screenwriters of the future scramble to immortalize his legend in film.

Rufus isn’t just a movie. He’s a fucking franchise. The Bruce Tucker movie. The first outing in Parliament movie. The first comeback to Cabinet with Compton movie. The debacle that lead to him being foreign affairs minister movie. HBO and Warner Bros don’t know how much they need this guy.

Even if you delete his past lives (he’d probably thank you for  that), he’s still a movie in the making and you’re the extra and the spectator, or the guy in the theater if you’re lucky. Look at the plot sypnosis.

First, he scuttled plans for the new hospital to be built by the PRC by practically selling out to Taiwan. With just a little patience, he could have had it both ways. He challenged a sitting Prime Minister and sparked off a commess (interestingly enough, derived from the word ‘commerce’) that nearly resulted in the implosion of his  government.

He led the way in unorthodox constituency development financing (am I good at making a bad thing sound official or what?), leading to widespread denunciation of his government as corrupt. And he made history by being the first person to be kicked out of Cabinet for the second (or the third, who’s counting?) time.

And then, according to leaked US diplomatic cables, he wa s one of three so-called Renegades on the Communist Chinese list of people to reward if the UWP government fell and Labour came back into power. 

That’s a good movie, dread.

Of course, that didn’t happen. What happened was the Rufus made a bigger and better comeback than ever before, becoming foreign affairs minister, which is a way of saying he was PM/St Lucia everywhere in the world except St Lucia and whatever foreign country the PM happened to be in at the time.

And then, the party really started. (See the Report of Review on Constituency and Village Councils, or whatever it’s called.)

Even Flambeaus can now admit that the days when Rufus was on top were the worst  of all possible worlds for St Lucia. But there was a silver lining.

Thanks, asshole. We couldn't have done it without you

Without Rufus’ underhanded plays, Labour and Taiwan would never have gotten married. Never. Not even if the Angel Gabriel came down from America with seven seals signed by both God and Obama commanding them to do it.

But Bousquet’s self-serving plays, while a national embarrassment, served to put Labour in the right position to swallow its pride and accept Taiwan as its development partner. Labour and Taiwan are stuck with each other now. And St Lucia is better off for it. Who needs another stadium? Especially when Canadians own it and the local sports people can’t afford to use it.

What we need is food production. What we need is greater self-sufficiency.

That is not what Communist China is offering. But it is exactly what Taiwan wants to give, if local politicians would only set that agenda and stick to it. In the best of all possible worlds, St Lucia maintains diplomatic relations with Taiwan while remaining friends with Beijing. That is exactly what is happening now. When you look back at recent history, Rufus made that happen. Incidentally, yes. But still, you can’t shortchange a man for the one good thing he ever did.

So as you celebrate at his wake, remember that in spite of all the bad things there are to say about Rufus, there is one good thing he did, albeit quite unintentionally. He got St Lucia in the right foreign relations position at the right time. And then, he committed political suicide. Fine. Two good things.

As you celebrate at his wake, also remember that this particular dog was born with nine lives. He has only died two or three times, depending on who’s counting.

The motherfucker still has six or seven lives left. Ironic that the only St Lucian politician named after a dog should have as many lives as a cat.