Wednesday, 10 July 2013



If you feed me, you will feel me

Bear with me. I’m promise you enough totots and cocolok in this article. This is not a fake out, like COUCHIE, COCONUTS & CLIMATE. There WILL be totots and cocolok. Just read some important stuff as well.

Taiwan is not just a friend. They have supported our agriculture, community projects, even our corruptions and inefficiencies. They’re a good example how to build the kind of country we want to become. They’re food secure. And you know what people hardly ever mention? 

Chinese people on Taiwan got bigger than many other Asians. They got taller when they moved to the island and started eating what they grew. And get this: Taiwanese dicks are bigger than many other Asian dicks, even though they come from the same stock. Only in the last generation did urban mainlanders start catching up.
No way? YES WAY! Mine is bigger than the communist ambassador's.

What’s the big difference? Food security.

Look up food secure nations. (And also, penis size by nationality, if you must. West and Central Africans don’t fit the theory, because they only started starving relatively recently. They were eating good for thousands of years while others were hunting wooly mammoth and spending winters wondering if  children were delicious.)

The reality is that countries that have food security are the most developed. WHY?

Got yam?
Perhaps because food security leads to food exports and food processing. Food processing leads to other kinds of manufacturing. The improvement of skill sets actually sparks off new industries and attracts new foreign money. The increased efficiency of agriculture frees up more people to get new skills. Those skills attract investment. Money likes skills that are sold at Third World prices.

Food insecurity makes you feb.

It stunts babies in the womb for life. It reduces mortality. And it makes your dick smaller. (Or your breasts, depending…more cocolok and totot to come.)

We don’t need that. We are neither a small people nor a weak people. We’re not the Masai. But we fought the British Empire and in 1794, we kicked their ass. And when the great Abercrombie came with his mercenaries to take St Lucia back, we gave him hell. We made one of the great heroes of the British Empire respect us, even in defeat. We did not make it easy.

But of course, back in those days, we were not eating diwi tou le jou. There was no such thing as macaroni in the island, yet. We were eating dasheen and zunji and spent all day either planting or fighting de dirty Massa or colonialism or Garnet Gordon or  whatever. When we wanted to go from Dennery to Anse la Raye, we’d get up early in the morning and start walking. Up until about the last generation, we still did that – some of us at least. It eh easy to kill niggaz who can cross the middle mountains of St Lucia on foot in less than half a day. And that was the women and children.


Don't fuck this up felluz!
The problem with food security is land. People want to plant but if they can’t own the land, they have no incentive to ‘improve’ it. Ten points to Musa for helping free up land for young farmers. (A three point deduction for the amount of time it takes between application and approval.)

The irony of food security is that countries who are food secure have less than 3% of their population working in agriculture. Countries who are not have all up to 75% of their people in rural areas, working in agriculture, but they’re undernourished and their agricultural sector is not the major driver of their economy. Ridiculous. The countries with the most potential farmers are the ones starving.

Nyaming Caribbean yam since 2005
Now there is an important difference between Taiwan and St Lucia that we must remember, if we commit to the model. When Chiang Kai-Sek and them moved the Republic of China to Taiwan, they had money coming out of every orifice of their body. When St Lucia declared Independence (I’m trying to make it sound respectable, gimme a break), we did not have very much money in our pockets, much less our orifices.

Which makes food security all the more important. (Not to mention healthy and delicious.)

What is happening to St Lucia right now is not the result of VAT or debt or Labour’s Better Days. It is the final death of the fictitious island we pretended was a country. It’s happening all around the region. What must happen next is that we must be reborn as a West Indian Federation of nations with enough self-respect to grow enough food to feed ourselves. And to ensure that future generations of St Lucian men do not have smaller penises than their fathers and grandfathers. (Totots can get smaller, because women can just go and buy bigger breasts.)

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