WHAT YOUR NUMBER PLATE SAYS ABOUT YOU

Only one of these plates says you are NOT a loser

If your number plate has letters, unless it’s a C and a D, you are a malayway. No matter how special the number is, the letters ruin everything. If you are driving PA1, you eh special yet. You're just the number one loser to have a letter defiling his plates. You are not in the top 10,000. Much less if you driving PK7098. You not even malayway. You’re nobady. Your Audi deserves better than that. You need to re-evaluate your damned priorities.

Of course, some number plates have sentimental value. The letters are your wife’s initials, or the number plate came from your father or your dead homie (spill some Hen). That is so sweet of you. But…

Know this. If that sentimental license plate number has letters on it, all it says about you, is that you are vain and deluded. You are not in the top 10,000. You have no class. You have no ambition. You’re the kind of person who makes do with what you have and likes it. Basically, you’re white trash and to make matters worse, you’re probably black.

If you can afford a proper car, you can afford to shell out a couple grand more for a respectable frikking license plate number for your baby. Leaving a nice car with old letters on the plates is like leaving your nice, young jabal without money for weave and nails – you just don’t do it.

Even the government has realized that this is a real issue and has decided to facilitate matters by recalling old, unused numbers and offering them for sale. Still, some people refuse to raise themselves up out of the, um, colonial mentality, yeah, that’s what we blame everything on, right?

But apparently, some of you don’t understand the shame and embarrassment you put your friends and family, your innocent children through. So because it’s too complicated, The FLOGG has brought right down to a language that everyone can easily understand.

A four letter number plate says, “I’ve had cars in my family since before the Internet was invented.”

A three letter number plate says, “My people driving since the days when poor people still had home phone and black and white TV.”

A two letter number plate says, “I’m from an aristocracy of car owners that dates back to before St Lucia had had television and a flag.”

A one letter number plate says, “You are all beneath me. My family had this number plate on a frigging horse drawn cart….I mean,  chariot. Yeah. Y’all drive cars. I drive a frikkin metal chariot. Plebz. No ride for you.”