WHO IS COCK-BLOCKING CARIBBEAN UNITY?

WE CAN FUCK OUR WAY TO UNITY

BUT SOMEONE IS COCK-BLOCKING CARIBBEAN REGIONALISM

EC Federation: Now that's a fucking country!

Who?

You know damned well. The people who have the most  to gain by maintaining the status quo, that's who.

These motherfuckers don’t know what they’ll do if we just unify and they can’t hire their friends and jabals as consultants to write reports on obstacles to unity and how to get over them. The consultancy scam will be over and they will all have to get real jobs. I mean, seriously, how hard is it to unify eight insignificant drops of flyshit? You just roll them together. Or just get out of the way so we can do it ourselves. 

Believe me. We can do it. We can unify the Caribbean without paperwork, bureaucracy or Viagra.

Antiguan fellas have jungle fever for Lucian women, Bajans have it for Lucian men and Lucian men have it for Dominican women. If politicians and LIAT get out of the way, Caribbean people will fuck their way to unity in two and a half months.

You’re laughing.

But not just because it’s funny, but because it’s true. You know we’ll do it too. Give us a ferry and get the cost of Customs, or at least Immigration out of the way and the only thing you have to worry about is the health care cost of unity. Babies and STDs, CLR. Babies and STDs.

Frenchie, the Anglo-Caribbean Condom: Fighting for Truth, Justice and the Caribbean way

Luckily condoms are cheaper than both of those and defying the Catholic Church is free. Condoms are the only thing that should keep Caribbean people apart.

If politicians (and fucking LIAT) would just help or get out of the way, within a generation, more than half the people will be half-this, half-that. In two generations, words like St Lucian and Dominican will have no civil significance and will only refer to cultural peculiarities. As these peculiarities evolve, words like Vincentian and Kittian will go the way of words like Etruscan and Aragonian. Or perhaps become like the word Sicilian, which has its own identity but only as a distinct subset of the well-consolidated category called Italian.

In the end who really needs to be a St Lucia so bad that he is willing to pass up being a real West Indian? Only 17 people I know. And once they leave office, even they will be on our side. And the only thing we have to worry about is the next 17 power hoarders who fully understand that regional unity should, to a large extent, bring an end to these useless, foolish national governments and most of their political careers.